A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey people, I really need advice,My and my girl broke up 3weeks ago and I been working to get back with my girlfriend for the past 3 weeks. Basically I'm doing this No Contact thing for about 30days so I could get myself together and get her to want me back and its working. She has been texting me saying that she misses me and everything and I haven't responded till the 30 days are up. We been together for almost 4 years and we love each other but the 3 weeks took a toll on me. So I went to the bar with my friend last night had some drinks, got drunk, and ended up having sex with this girl last night. I do not even know her name, don't have her cell number or anything. It was just spur of the moment and nothing personal. She did not sleep with me or anything she actually left afterwards and I'd probably never see her again. But did I mess up my chances? If we did get back together should I tell her? And if so when should I tell her? I mean we are broken up so am I clear or do you think that is messed up?
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broke up, drunk, get back together, my ex, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): Reading the title, I thought someone had a one night stand with the ex, that would have been a fortunate case. I agree, get yourself screened for STDs, have a doctor suggest the most common tests that can be done. I suggest you don't enter a next relationship before clearing this up with your doc. Take care, the pot goes so long to the water, and best of luck.http://www.epigee.org/health/std_testing.html
A
female
reader, Eva_shaw  +, writes (2 May 2010):
No point in telling her. It will not change the past and will only hurt her (plus techincally you are not together with this girl so it is not really cheating). Our pasts belong to us. So, cover the trail and take it to the grave
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 You know, that's just the thing that broke up Rachel and Ross on "Friends"! ( watch the reruns if you are too young to remember ):)
So...normally I think honesty is the best policy. But in your case I'll make an exception. It's a one time transgression that will never have a follow-up (right ?) ,that did not mean anything to you, and that in a way happened precisely because you were missing your gf.
But,don't tell her- if you do, of corse she is gonna be upset, what do you expect !? It does not matter to her that "technically " you were on a break and you had the right to sleep with whomever you want ( BTW,it's debatable). What it will matter to her is that,at least in her eyes, rather than missing her and thinking of her and of how you could get her back- you were out having casual fun with,basically,the first girl that passed by you.
Cover your tracks- make sure your friends don't rat you off- and be wiser in future.Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): It's understandable that the stress is getting to you but going out to get drunk wasn't the best way to handle it, she dwarves toknow, especially if you've picked up an STD or anything - if you don't tell her I'mquite sure it'llcome back to haunt you.I think you have messed it up a bit cos no matter what you say you still slept with someone else when you knew she missed you
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