A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Seven months ago I met the man I thought I had waited my entire life for. He is kind caring supportive, great with my daughter and never too mired in his shit to extend himself to try and help fix my stressful situations. I knew two weeks in that all I wanted was to have a happily ever after with him. He has helped me alot, despite being broke himself he does what he can-or so I thought. The only child support pmt I got (daughter's almost 4) I paid his mortgage so he wouldn't go into forclosure. I have pawned all of the jewelry mom gave me before she died...and paid cable bills, utility bills,shit even paid to have his car fixed. He never asked for the help but didn't turn it down either. I thought I was investing in our future helping him hang onto his house because he wants to sell it for seed money to start a business. I thought I was investing in our future but the way he treats me has really changed. Have I been to good and is he just capitalizing on my generosity?
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (16 June 2011):
 Does he have a job? why can't he pay his own bills?
I wouldnt give him any more money, keep your child support payments for your child because that is what the payment is for. If this guy loves you he will sort things out himself so you can be together. If he doesn't have a job then perhaps he should look for one...or a better paid one.
Don't give him any more money, it won't get you anywhere other than broke.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 June 2011):
 stop paying his bills and see what happens.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2011): It is really hard to determine if he is a straight up and committed without knowing more. I would say trust your instincts but do not get caught up in details, can you trust him enough to talk to him and try and find out if he is committed to your future? Is it possible that he is treating your differently because he wants to stand on his own two feet and does not want any hand outs?
Either way stop giving immediately and try and not regret what you have done as it may or may not be wrong. Just sit tight for a while and see if things improve.
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