A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was with my ex boyfriend (Julian) for three years on and off. when he finished with me in summer 2010 I started seeing someone else (steve) he'd give me money and lifts and generally looked after me, we only had sex three times. I then went to Spain for a few months- he wanted to be together when I got back and was always texting me whilst I was over there. Whilst being away I couldn't get over Julian so got back with him- this broke steves heart. however, he still offered to do things for me and my mum had him do some building on our house. he has always liked me but I didn't care because I just wanted Julian. Julian finished once again summer 2011- steve was there to pick up the pieces and I finally agreed to go to Egypt with him. we slept together for the first time in a year and I enjoyed being with him and hated being awAy from him for even one night. I'm now living with steve and have been for two months. there is just one problem. hes totally obsessed with watching football- it's his life. he goes to home matches every other week and away matches every other week. he has two massive wardrobes of programmes (he's 45 so it's always been his priority). I work Sunday's and he goes to football on Saturday's and works all week until late at night so when are we suppose to have time together. if he misses the odd match I never hear the last of it- all because I want us to spend time together. he said the season ends in June but then he'll be watching the euro and cricket. has he really got time for a girlfriend? he's not acting like someone who's wanted me for a year, he says I'm his world but I think football means more to him.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 January 2012):
 My finace is into his MMO he plays it every chance he gets... EXCEPT when we make plans in advance to do something else... then he can go back to it... he did give it up for about 6 months in the thick of our relationship but when he moved in with me he went back to it... since I have him every night now I dont' really mind....
if steve is not at a game on nights after work, can you guys make "dates" for then? I know i hate being social after work I want to go home and veg out....
perhaps you can sit down and talk about what your expectations are of your weekends and work out that he takes ONE weekend a month off to nurture your relationship...
the two of you need to sit down and talk about this(not on a time when he's busy with a game) and figure out how to come to a compromise on when he can and cannot attend his games.
Explain to him that all relationships require compromise and while you are willing to accept his hobby and are more than happy to have him go at it you would like SOME time.
IF he says he CANNOT compromise on this and refuses to give up ANY of his game time, then you need to think about what you are willing to put up with.....me I would NOT tolerate a man who could not give up at least ONE in FOUR days of his game with me.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 January 2012):
 If he is busy with work all week then why not spend the evenings with him? I am sure he is not working 24 hours a day. Am afraid that you are just going to need to accept that football is his passion, it does not mean that he thinks of it more than he does of you, but he has probably had this all his life and he is not going to change now, so I guess you just need to accept that this is part of him if you want to be in the relationship, and if you cannot accept it well then maybe it is time to finish things, because it is not fair asking him to give up his hobby for you. You need to either accept him as he is or else finish it.
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A
female
reader, unlovedgirl  +, writes (4 January 2012):
 why dont you try and watch a game with him? or go and watch one with him... and if you really want to know if your his world just ask him if he can make more time for you cause you feel like your been left out and that use dont get to spent time together? i hope that helped alittle bit :/
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