A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I’m just asking for advice because I’ve been out of the dating game for a while and I’m not sure how to go about pursuing a relationship. Basically, my ex and I broke up in March and it took me until October to really get over him. I haven’t really developed feelings for another guy since I dated him. A couple weeks ago, this guy followed me on Instagram and direct messaged me. I frequently have random guys dm’ing me so I didn’t think much of it, but I thought he was cute and I saw we had some mutual friends so I started talking to him. A few days after we started talking, my friend showed me a screenshot of a text this guy had sent her saying that I was really pretty and he wanted us all to hang out together. A couple days after that a few of my friends hung out with him and he told them that he thought I was gorgeous and he hoped I wouldn’t just want to hook up with him, because he would actually be down for a relationship. He also told me on multiple occasions that he didn’t usually get romantic with girls and he didn’t get attached to girls from Instagram but I was different. We hung out for the first time last Friday, I was supposed to pick him up from his school but long story short I went to his house. We turned on a DVD and made out a little, while we were making out he told me he was hard and said I could do whatever I want to him, but I told him not right now. When we left his house it was dark and we went on a walk and he walked me home. He was saying he really liked me and complimented me a lot. On Saturday he was supposed to pick me up from work but he got caught up in shopping with his family so we couldn’t meet up until late at night because we both had to sneak out. We met up in the neighborhood and walked back to his house. He only had $3.50 and he asked me if I wanted a drink, I told him I didn’t want to spend his only money but he said if I wanted it he wanted to buy it for me. I agreed because I was in the mood to have fun. He bought a Fourloko and I told him I wasn’t gonna drink that whole thing by myself, so he helped me. We played a drinking game and listened to music and talked, we made out a little too and when he was drunk he said that he wanted to eat me out whenever I wanted and stuff like that, like saying his dick was mine and shit. We didn’t do more than just kiss because I told him I like him too much to do anything sexual atm, and he was ok with it. He walked me home and we were drunk, when we reached our halfway meeting point he had to leave to sneak back into his house but he kept telling me to text him when I was home safe. I almost walked into oncoming traffic and he freaked and said he would kill himself if I had gotten hit. When we’re not together he’s always texting me, not obsessively but asking me how my day’s been and how school is and stuff. I haven’t been in a relationship since my ex broke my heart, and in the time between I’ve just had casual sex with multiple guys. I know how guys act when they’re only interested in sex, but this time I’m stumped. I don’t typically want a relationship but I really want to commit to this guy. It makes me so happy to be around him and when we talk he seems genuinely interested in what I have to say. I don’t know if he wants a relationship or he just wants to hook up. He says he likes me but I’m not sure what that means. I’m sorry if I seem clueless I’m just used to hooking up with guys with no feelings attached so it kind of caught me off guard that I have romantic feelings for someone. Does it seem like it’s possible he wants to be in a relationship or does it just seem like he’s looking to hook up? I’m just tired of hooking up honestly and I’m ready to commit to someone but I’m scared of getting my feelings hurt.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 December 2017):
 You are young and I don't want to sound harsh but from your post it is clear he only wants to hook up with you, I think you know that deep down as well but you like him and want to carry on. If he had any respect for you and wanted a relationship he would not be talking about anything sexual at all. Meeting at houses and late at night is never a good idea. You both need to meet up during the day and get to know each other without being sexual. My guess is that he thinks he will crack you after a few dates, but if you want something serious then show him you are to be respected.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2017): He's looking to hook-up. If you're under 18, you shouldn't be drinking. If he was able to buy alcohol, he has to be 18 or older. Why does he have to sneak in and out of his house?
Your parents are going to be dealing with a teenage-pregnancy. You'd better use condoms each and every-time; if you're having sex with "multiple guys!" Not to mention STD's! If your remedy for a broken heart is free-for-all sex; you're heading down the wrong path, Missy!
When you were making-out, that was his opportunity to show you what he's really up to. You will continually have to make excuses to avoid sex. Knowing hormones at your age, that's not going to be easy. Alcohol is in the mix; so he's going to really up his game. He's going to offer you alcohol. Then act all protective and romantic. What a player!
If you want something real, keep sex out of it as long as you can. Tell him that you are looking for something more than just someone to have sex with. He'll tell you whatever you want to hear, if he can get your panties off. Just tell him you'll wait and see how things go. It's best your parents know your whereabouts at night.
You should be scared to get your feelings hurt. If he has already tried to get you to have sex; that's mostly what his interest in you will be.
Oh BTW, telling everybody how pretty you are and how much he likes you is a clever and deliberate stunt. He's making sure word gets back to you through the grapevine; so you'll be all flattered and batty-eyed! Don't get played, always keep your head together. Don't get drunk alone with a boy; and keep your friends close by to keep an eye on you!
Your parents should keep a closer-eye on their teenage daughter! She's sexually-active, under-aged drinking, and sneaking out at night with boys. Typical-teenage behavior; but good parents aren't easily dodged, and watch-out for your safety! Just a side-note!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 December 2017):
 I see a few red flags here... my guess is, so do you... or you wouldn't have made this post.
He says one thing but does another. RED FLAG
He is full of shit, IMHO. He claims that he is looking for a relationship with you (to your mutual friend) expect he ONLY mentions your looks. He is "hoping" YOU don't just want to hook up.. blah blah blah but on your FIRST meeting he talks about his dick and tells you, you can do whatever you want with it... SO HE is looking to hook up or at least get a BJ.
On the second meetup (because I won't call either of them DATES you are both sneaking around) he tells you he wants to eat you out, and his DICK is yours- again SEXUAL.
And you are NOT in a relationship. Right?
Then there is the over the top dramatic stuff with " If anything happened to you I'd kill myself" BULLSHIT. If you think that is "romantic" then you need your head examined. Sorry.
My advice IF you REALLY want something "serious" with this guy DO NOT have sex (that includes oral/anal ANYTHING sexual other than kissing) until there is an established relationship. and if you have to sneak around your parents to be together... then maybe you BOTH ought to wait.
I think at your age hormones play such a big part in all this. And his are "raging" - he is the quintessential horny teenager. Doesn't mean you can't be in a relationship, but... I think he is more interested in hooking up.
And if you are 16-17 - nix the alcohol. That is not a good thing to throw in the mix.
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