A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so basically this is really getting me down and fed up.My best friend and i go out a lot together and meet people together, we are practically never apart socially. She is blonde and probably described as 'FIT' but not small featured or pretty. Where as i have seriously low self esteem already and am getting constantly 'forgotten' about around guys with her. I've been told i'm 'pretty' a lot and a lot of girls apparently envy me yet guys go for my friend practically 9 times out of 10. I've realised that 'pretty' and 'small featured' doesnt go as far as 'blonde and fit'.Any suggestions, it's bringing my confidence down so much and my friend knows this. XX
View related questions:
best friend, confidence, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (26 July 2008):
 Firstly not all men like Blondes, is a sterotype
Prehaps your low self esteem makes you less aproachable and seem more defensive.
How about you go out alone a few times or be more friendly and open when the boys are around. Feeling good about yourself is attractive and boys do not want a girl with issues with themselves. Be comfortable with your and you will be happier
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008): I had this problem too about a year ago . only it wasn't my
friend it was my cousin. (and she's not even a real blonde)
here's the thing . men are shallow. I've seen men drool over women who weren't neccesarily attractive just because they were blond or fit. the point is there are probably guys who like you . but your insecurity could be pushing them away. confidence goes along way.Try out a new activity without your friend . She might be stealing your thunder.You'll probably meet someone new.Even if you don't at first eventually someone is bound to notice you.
...............................
A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (25 July 2008):
 Hi hun
Have you wondered what would happen if you were not always with her? I think you have gotten into a bit of a pattern when you are with her. You feel inferior, expect you will be overlooked by guys and send out those vibes as a result.
Try doing things apart from her or with other friends. I am sure you are lovely. Work at building up your own self esteem and self worth. I can tell by your post that it is not high hun.
Guys..well people in general are attracted to confidence. Do not start to see yourself as secondary to her.
Shine your own star. Good luck sweetie.
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (25 July 2008):
 It seems like maybe your friend is easier to approach. Don't get bogged down by the idea that your friend is prettier or has more to offer. It's not her blonde locks that are attracting fellas, it is probably her attitude. She may come off as more open, chilled out, making her easier to approach.
You may be just as hot, but maybe guys are intimidated by you or just find it easier to talk to your friend. She may have less of an esteem problem and it shows! If she feels good about herself, people will feel good about talking to her. So, learn to love yourself and you'll start radiating confidence and happiness... then the guys will be knocking on your door!
No worries, sweet,
xx India
...............................
|
