A
female
age
30-35,
*ovinggirl
writes:Hello all.Damsel in distress moment here - would love your guys advice/opinions!My boyfriend of 20 months yesterday suddenly decided he didn't want to be with me any more.The reasons he stated were because I'm too insecure and demanding of him. Insecure yes I am, he knew this all along but demanding, I can't agree with.We've been chatting back and forth since then, arranging things - like I bought us tickets to a concert which he's posting back to me, I have his t-shirt here that I sleep in and I need to get a refund on tickets I'd ordered us for a week on Tuesday.He's been texting me all day, more so than when we were together. He's been asking what i've been doing, who i've been with etc. I've not initated any text conversations since the early hours of this morning as I don't want to appear needy and/or desperate.He's adamant that there is no way back for us - yet he's still texting me asking if i'm out etc, he's been texting all day, and he's been online all evening (i've been 'lurking' as such) but hasn't yet removed our relationship status on Facebook.If we've split up and he no longer wants to be with me, then why is he still maintaining conversational contact with me about what I'm doing etc??? Especially when at around 3pm he stated I needed to stop texting him and move on...but he's initiating the contact???
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): If you are over him then ignore him and his texts. End of story. OTOH, if not, then you've got a chance to remedy the situation as he has said one thing but is really carrying on the conversation and the relationship.
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (11 January 2010):
 Well you where in a relationship for along time it sounds like he cares about you and wants to make sure your doing allrte i would suggest telling him your a big care and you can manage he doesnt need to keep checking up on you. You can still be friends just not romantically involved, sounds to me like this guy hasnt gotten over you yet. You and him need to grow up a bit and talk about things and i suggest moving the relation ship into the just friends area.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): i think u need to completly ignore him... he made ir=t quite clear that he no longer wants to be in a relationship with u and if you two have decided to stay friends then all is good. however he has no right to know wot you are up to and who you are with or where you are as it is no longer his concern. by all means stay on friendly terms but remind yourself that you are now free to move on and find someone better good luck xx
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A
male
reader, PACIFICBLUE +, writes (11 January 2010):
 Hi, I guess Ive always been a sucker for a damsel in distress!!Let me tell you what I think you should do, you state your a loving girl and appear quite young. You DO NOT need to be worrying over this guy! Its a new year and you need to start afresh and get out into the big wide world to see the BIGGER picture! Take some pride in yourself and cut contact the way he has cut the relationship. Its none of his business what you do anymore and who you do it with. Had I been you, I would have kept the tickets and gone to the concert with a friend. Dont sit answering his texts, get out and make a life for yourself, life is short enough as it is!Whatever you do, DO NOT think you will get left on the shelf! Breaking up is never easy, but think of it as a new beginning, a new you, life is suddenly exciting! you gotta see it that way. who knows what good things life has in store for you now?????If you were insecure, then have you considered it was him or what he done that led you to feel that way? and as for demanding it sounds to me he is just trying to throw in 'problems' that were not there in order to justify a break up. in summary, use this to jump start your new life, post his t-shirt back, do not answer his intrusive texts, best of all do not answer him at all as you will be too busy with your new life soon anyway!!Hope this has helped and good luck!your knight in shining armour!
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A
female
reader, lovinggirl +, writes (11 January 2010):
lovinggirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOriginal poster here...
Forgot to include the fact that we are/were in a long distance relationship.
Both in the UK but around 2hrs away from each other.
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