A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy I like at school. I assumed he was single as I never see him with anyone, he's alone most of the time. I am absolutely smitten over this guy, and I confessed this to him. He was flattered and seemed very happy about this. The more we talked the more I found out about him and it turns out he's in a long distance relationship with something. I felt embaressed and apologized for not asking him if he was seeing anyone at the very beginning. His reply was, "don't be sorry, our relationship is on the rocks anyways" very casually. Now this puts me in an awkward situation because he seemed a little flirty with me and never mentioned he had a girlfriend until I asked him directly. What should I do? I really like this guy but don't want to be that girl that breaks two people together apart.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 March 2013):
 well he's got a problem here... but it's his problem.
I think the fact that he finally admitted to an LDR with someone means he's realizing he cares about you and he's trying to figure this out.
YOU should not be anything but a friend until he mans up and ends his LDR...
LDRs are hard. LDRs in college... nearly impossible IMO for just such reasons....
Personally, my take on this is once he bites the bullet and ends it with the LDR girlfriend, then you and him can consider a relationship if you both want it.
THE issue is this... when he's not with you will you trust that he's not "chatting up" and potentially encouraging another girl with "I"m in an LDR but it's on the rocks"
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 March 2013):
I don't think this is a guy you can trust. At all. He showed you no respect by hiding that he had a girlfriend, and he showed her no respect by not saying anything. Worse still, he's used the cliched line "We were on the rocks anyway".
I would leave this one well alone. You don't need to worry about being the one who breaks two people apart, you need to worry that you'll be used.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (2 March 2013):
 Just let him know that if he ever decides to end his relationship or if they don't work out for whatever reason, that you'd be interested if you're still single. But definitely back off a bit. You don't want to be that girl, as you've said. Good luck!
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