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Girlfriend going overseas, can I trust her?

Tagged as: Cheating, Long distance, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 July 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2007)
A male Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

I have a Girlfriend going overseas for 1 year she is 20 im 27 i told her i may visit her for a few weeks, she told me she wants to go overseas to be independant and work and visit friends.

I have been going out with her for 3 months she told me there is nothing to worry about and she doesnt want anyone else and that she loves me and will keep in touch with me via the net/phone.

The problem is i cant trust her deep down as she has had a lot of boyfriends in the past and a lot of short term relationships none longer than 2 months,.There is just no creditability.

And over the weekend asked her best friend came out and said to her "why u dressed up so much.. thats becuase i have a boyfriend and its cold"

and her best friend its never stopped you in the past.

her best friend is stripper/dancer, in basic terms a big time slut.

I had an open conversation with her regarding her going o/s and she told me to be more supportive, just i told 1 year is a long time and a lot can change in that time and she told she will remain committed to me and i meant everything to her! - but in the first month of the relationship i suspected her of cheating on me with her best friend it happened on a tuesday day and she doesnt work on monday and tuesdays and usually meets up with him for movies and dinners etc on a weekly occurance.

I also questioned her hey hun ive noticed you dont call me or text me on monday and tuesdays why?? - like we dont talk very much on these days like for 2 mins..

i realise you are seeing other friends but its seems like you dont care about me on these days.. she agreeded and told me she likes her days off she likes to relax and to clear the mind and is aware of it know.

I found out about this when she left me her phone and he msged saying hi i feel bad about what happened the other night and that i love my girlfriend.. i asked her about it and she denyed it and got emotional almost started crying.

I told her look your 20 go and have your fun and see me when u get back and she didnt want that becuase i suggested to end the relationship.

Also she admits to me that she is sex crazy.

Also she told me she doesnt find herself attractive and is insecure with urself as she is overweight and told me she is crazy about me and loves me to bits i usually spend the weekends with her and her family and im basically part of the family im usually over

3-4 times a weeks and sleeping over her parents and family love me!

What are your suggestions??

View related questions: best friend, insecure, overweight, stripper, text

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A male reader, leonard j.Douglas Philippines +, writes (30 July 2007):

I would wonder why you remain in a sick relationship, as that is how I see it. But then sometimes we let our Male Ego get in the way of good, old, common sense. You two go together like two left shoes. Yet sometimes we beat our heads against the wall of futility, because it feels sooo good. You are in Deadendville and you don't know when it's time to move on.

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A male reader, DJ8433 United States +, writes (29 July 2007):

DJ8433 agony auntYou said the right thing in the first place, now you have to be the man. Tell her again, and mean it this time. "Go have a good time, and call me when you get back." She's young and doesn't know who she is or what she wants yet. You're still young too. Go have a good life, keep in touch with her, and maybe you two will hook up again. Just to ask the questions you're asking, I can tell you're a kind hearted person, now you have to be a man too.

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