A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years so it's not something I want to just end. But I'm having a serious problem with my girlfriend and when she drinks. She's far from a alcoholic, she will drink only once or twice every couple of months. But when she drinks with her friends she's happy and fun regardless if she's smashed or tipsy but every time in the relationship she drinks with me she turns into a mean person.She jumps on any opportunity she can to verbally abuse me saying things like I'm the only person she can't have fun with and how she wants to dump me and I'm a loser and things like that. On one particular occasion she even got physical but on that occasion I retaliated to her verbal abuse with some nasty comments back.I write this now because I avoided being around her when she drinks for about a year and tried it tonight and it ended up her storming out of the restaurant and us going home whilst I was told how she's going to get someone better and she gets right in my face, she then becomes apologetic for her actions. It's also the way she acts, a girl who was wearing I will say myself a very short revealing dress walked in the restaurant and my girlfriend openly laughed at her and yelled what the hell are you wearing, the girl looked upset, is that really called for?Anyway I need to know what I can do and what to say to her?Anyone been here before Cheers
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (26 April 2014):
 If your cell phone can record, then next time discretely tape her and show her later JUST what a cow she turns into with a little alcohol in her system. I agree with anon there. Maybe she doesn't know JUST how badly she reacts. My guess is, that she DOES know.
Personally, I would consider that WHAT she is telling while "tipsy" is how she actually feels. That the alcohol gives her courage to talk smack to you.
So, maybe IF that is how she feels maybe the relationship is running on it's last leg. I can't see why you should walk on egg-shells twice a month, or stay out of her way, or suck up her abuse.
And for her to abuse some random girl in a short dress, totally uncalled for (unless you were ogling her - then I can see if she was mad at you, but the girl?) Nope. I'd be embarrassed to be seen out with a person like that.
As for the relationship, HOW do you feel about it?
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 April 2014):
 When people drink alcohol, their "true self" emerges....
You can take advantage of knowing this (the above) by realizing that your "G/F" isn't all that smitten with you.. but stays with you for who-knows what reason(s).
Are you willing to be her foot-wiping mat (the one she belittles, when she drinks) indefinitely??? She gave you a preview of the future.... now, ACT upon it!!!!
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (26 April 2014):
Yeah, you can tell her drinking isn't for her, that she's mean and makes a fool out of herself and you won't tolerate it.
Also, unfortunately, there's definitely some truth to what she tells you when she's drunk. It's not just some made up random stuff. She really does resent you. That's not to say she doesn't love you. Instead of leaving it at an apology you need to figure out why she feels this way and try to sort it out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2014): Talk to her when she is sober and say how humiliated you are when she drinks, I would even consider filming her behaviour to play back to her when she is sober as it sounds like she is a complete alter ego.Working with the emergency services I was often told by many that if alcohol was discovered now it would be a controlled drug and banned as some people are turned into complete monsters. There are illegal drugs that make people less violent/offensive/incapacited... than alcohol does. If she can't handle alcohol then she should be mature enough to drink less or none at all. If she can control herself with her friends then she needs to sort herself out when with you.
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