A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Late last summer I met this girl working at a restaurant I was visiting with friends. The dialog between us was very brief and somewhat awkward since the meeting had been arranged on-the-spot by my friend's girlfriend (the girl's co-worker), yet I got her number and confirmed her interest in wanting to meetup sometime.The next morning—still high on the euphoria of meeting this beautiful girl—the reality of my life fell upon me heavier than ever before: no job, no money, no car, still living with with parents and mentally and emotionally unstable as a result. It was clear I could not date, and I didn't follow up with her for that reason. I did however get to work on changing my life. In the months that have past since I realized I was unfit to date I've secured a high paying job, purchased my first car, and will be moving out into an very nice apartment with a friend early spring.Here's the kicker though, during those months theres been nearly 100 text messages between myself and this girl initiated by her 2 weeks after we first met. The content varies, but summarized they're mundane questions like "how have you been?" coupled with a flirtatious undertone and full and half-hearted attempts to see each other. On one occasion it did result in me coming to see her at work and although it could have gone better (I think we were both nervous) I received an excellent response that I again didn't follow up on because I was still unfit to date at the time (read: I'm an idiot.) The erratic text messaging however did continue...Now as if driven by clockwork my ability to date has coincided with what I'm viewing as her loss of interest. She does response to my messages when I initiate them, but they're short and brief, which I can't blame her for and truthfully I'm surprised she responses at all given my apparent lack of interest from her point-of-view and the amount of time that's past since meeting.I would like to salvage our relationship and not live with the regret of never getting to know her, but I'm uncertain of the best way to try doing so. I think seeing her at work—not telling her just showing up—to have a drink and converse would be a good move, versus asking her out via text message as that'd likely be taken as just more of the same and not sincere.What, if anything, I should do?P.S. If I do go to see her at work, and all goes well, would slipping an origami rose on to the pen that I'll sign my receipt with be a too much? We don't know each other too well, but we've been that way for quite sometime and at least at some point in the past there was a mutual desire to get to.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ilha  +, writes (25 February 2013):
Dear OP,It is clear that you have been a very responsible young man. You have made a lot of changes and progress in your life to ensure that you have a stable and promising future.It was also great that you have been keeping in contact with this girl that you have been interested in. You should not wait any longer, therefore, carry out your plan. Indirectly, tell her why you did not meet her up the last 3 months (you were working hard to have a stable life). You may also like to give her a small bouquet of flowers when you drop by for a drink.Lastly, go ahead with the origami rose plan too, that is a sweet gesture.You would never know what this would lead to if you do not try. Give it your best shot. Good luck!!! Do keep us posted on the outcome.....
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