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Friends of 25 years don’t include me anymore!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 April 2018) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 April 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

At the moment im trying to clear debt i have so have to stop spending where i dont need to. I messaged my 4 closest friends saying id have to cut back on nights out round pubs as i cant afford to waste money. Having each other round at each others houses would work. This has been for the last couple of month. The issue im having is that no-one has invited me to theirs and always decline my offers. Like tonight theyre all at one of their houses i feel left out. I know they dont have to include me , but i thought they would have wanted to see me at least once. Knowing them for 25 years makes no difference. Do i just let it pass or say something ? im just feeling deflated

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2018):

Sorry but you are just going to have to ask them, we are second guessing, as are you....good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2018):

Im op. I used the words , unfortunately i wont be able to come out so often due to finances being very low but can meet at each others a few times so we still get to see each other .

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (22 April 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntDid you actually phrase it like that when you told them you couldn't go out drinking with them any more, i.e. "I can't afford to WASTE money"? If so, is it possible they took exception to that and saw it as you meaning THEY were not worth the money?

Given that you have been close for so long, I don't see why you can't ask each of the four separately what you have done to be excluded from the group. Say you miss seeing them and see what happens.

Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2018):

All you can do is ask them outright why you are not getting invited and why they decline coming to yours, if they are true friends they will be honest with you, maybe there is a reason you haven't presented with your post...at the moment it seems they are not good friends but there is two sides to every story

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