A
female
age
30-35,
*ngelic88
writes:So me and my boyfriend got into a big fight. Weve had a difficult time for the past 6 months of our relationship (we've been together nearly 2 years) due to my anxiety problems..We argued very frequently, and I developed a phobia that he was going to betray my trust. Anyway, I've gotten better slowly, however I can't tell if my boyfriend is being just himself that I simply never noticed, or has the amount of strain between us made him so cold towards me. My big 30th is coming in July, and I thought it be lovely go away somewhere together. This would be his first time abroad as he doesnt have his own passport. But lately hes just been dragging everything out like he can't be bothered with anything. He tends to leave things to last minute and so I've been starting to worry because all these holiday deals are expiring quickly because summer is coming and he still hasn't attempted to sort out his passport. So we argued and that he wasn't thinking of me and that his heart doesn't seem in it at all. His reply was "Ive been trying to sort it out I just havnt finished the paper work" (which has been unattended for over a month). He then said "Anyway I'm worried that if we fight on the holiday, we would have spent all that money just to go on the holiday we may not enjoy, And i havnt really got much as you know". But I was already looking at the cheapest places to help him, and told him that he can't just expect our relationship to suddenly become "perfect" now and he should sort out his priorities. It's almost like he'd sort out the passport just because I said so not because he actually wants to. And he replied with "Well if we break up on holiday I want a refund. And get a f**king grip, I will sort out that passport and we can go wherever you want". I am so upset and we havnt spoken for 4 days now. But should I really be the one to speak first after what he said? Or does he have the right to talk this way cos of how hard our relationship has been? I just don't know what to do anymore. I love him and I know he does love me, but he has so much negativity.
View related questions:
cheap, money, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2018): HiWell you're obviously both having problems in your relationship.I get where he's coming from. he may have (I don't know) started this negativity in the relationship, so of course, the holiday will not be fun and guess who it will be really no fun for?(Can you? Because I can)!You're itching to go on holiday with him so you must be seeing this holiday as romantic and sweet, he - on the other hand - seems to be dreading it, hence the feet dragging and snidy remarks. Sounds like a barrel of fun, you're man!Have you got a friend you could go with or family? You can't force him to do what he should do if he cared about you at all, but he shouldn't force you to fit around him and his insecurities that he refuses to discuss with you in a civil and loving way.Am I right?Goodbye negativity.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 April 2018):
 Four days? If I had an argument and didn't contact the other, or have contact from, I would assume the relationship was teetering on the brink of oblivion.
And, because I am the champion assumer, I would also assume it was because he decided to break up before getting his passport, less hassle for him that way ... and cheaper too.
If there are any of his belongings at your place box them up and then contact him to find out if he would prefer you to drop them off or if he will be picking them up himself. If he has any of your stuff, list it (because men ...) and ask him if you can do a swap, and where he would prefer that to happen.
Then get online and find one of those travel agents that offer exciting group tours for young singles and book it.
Nobody needs another person's negativity in their lives.
...............................
|
