A
female
age
30-35,
*aura L.
writes:Hello to everyone! :)To begin with, I have this problem for a long time. Like, really long time. I've been friends with that special guy for almost 5 years now and I kinda like him every since. We met first year of high school and eventually become very close (but not totally because I'm reaaaly shy person and having hard time with being relaxed near someone). So, yeah, we hang out, so to school together, night outs etc... Now we're both at uni (I study law and he medicine so we dont see each other as much but we are in regular contact).Many of our friends were always conviced that we are dating, his friends were joking about us as couple, even the people that werent close with neither of us shared opinion that we are together. Yet, that wasnt and isnt true. And its kinda killing me.He's so confusing, becuase there are days where I say to myself "he has GOT to like me too", and then other days I think "ok, I guess I may have been wrong and misread him". What can I do to make it more obvious to him? He's making eyes/physical contacts, he is always polite and extremely good to me, smiling etc. i remember he was placing his arms around my hips when we were leaving a club one time and he used to do things like that.I've always been flirty and nice and charming around him and i'll continue with that but what more (except telling him straight which i cannot do, im not brave enough) can i do to show him i'm into him?!And one more thing, a couple of years ago, my you ger sister send him "i love you" text like a joke, without me knowing (i was pissed, very much because she deleted it and havent told me, i found out from him) and i think he replayed that he want to be friends or in that way something. After that he continued to be super nice/boyfrendslish with me, but even now I remember that incident like a negative fact on my list when it comes to thinking about situation with him.We are both 21, good looking, educated (yeah, my english grammar failed now just because i'm tired, don't judge me :D), and we both was with other people during our long lasting so called friendship eventhought i neven talk to him about boys i like and he necer ever told me anything about some other girl.I don't want to be in doubt anymore, i do like him but being friends is also a nice option, but not knowing what could turn out is killing me.Please some good advice. Thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): You've been friends for nearly 5 years and he's made no real sexual or romantic advances toward you. Grabbing you playfully about the hips is just that, he feels close enough to take such liberties. The frequency and intensity of this sort of touching should send up a red flag.Sounds pretty platonic to me. If you're interested in more, you'll have to come out of your shell and ask him if he feels the same toward you.The awkwardness behind asking is that if he says no, you'll feel rejected and you'll flee in embarrassment. You'll be tempted to end the friendship; or you'll always be yearning for more. If he is going to be a doctor, he has to smart enough to know you really dig him. You're also both attractive people. Where's that extra chemistry?You have to be brave and ready to accept either answer, and maintain what you have. A wonderful and loving friendship that has endured longer than some marriages. You may also remain friends for life, with separate marriages and families.Please also be prepared to handle it, if he turns out to be gay. Women often find the dreamiest guy ever, and have the closest relationships with them. Hugging, cuddling, and stroking her hair. He even may seem to be jealous when she dates other men, or when other guys come on to her. He is protective and feels he has a right to offer his approval. I've been there and I've done that.Please don't jump to conclusions, just because a guy maintains a platonic relationship with a female doesn't by any means confirm he isn't sexually attracted to women. You just have to consider all possibilities; so your great friendship survives anything.What you have now is wonderful. It would be nice if things turn out just as you want them to. Maybe he's wondering the same thing as you are. Seek and you will find out!
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