A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my partner and me been going out for 2 and a half years but in bed he wont do anything i do everything to him but he wont do anything i love him but im finding myself dreaming about other ppl ive askd him to do things like go down on me he wont i have to satisfy myself with a vibbo after what should i do ive told him ive asked him to do things i like and im not getting anywhere help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2013): Your boyfriend is a lazy/passive lover. He gets to lay back and enjoy all the thrills, as you perform all the acts of love.He is selfish, and allows you to take care of him, because it's a great alternative to masturbation. He gets all the attention. You get him aroused, he gets off, and it's over. He thinks he's got it made. He can just sit back on auto-pilot and glide to a no-hands climax. You said you love him. Does he love you?You've been dealing with this for a long time, and maybe it's time to call it quits. He doesn't seem to want to return the favor, so sex is quite empty for you. You've given him plenty of time to change. He doesn't appreciate it and there seems to be a love-deficit in the relationship.Since you have a personal pleasure device, you have a ready stand-in when you kick him to the curb. He's an idiot! Most guys wish their women were as eager to please and as creative. You give more than he deserves. If talking and pleading hasn't helped, give the guy his walking papers. Some say sex isn't everything; but it is when you're the one being deprived.
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (7 April 2013):
 I agree with CMMP. If after two years he is a lousy lover he is not going to change without some encouragement on your behalf.
Have you told him that you need an orgasm? Have you told him how to give you an orgasm? These are important things and after two years you should have the courage to tell him what you like and what you don't.
You do have to approach this subject gingerly -- after all his ego is on the line. Most guys don't want to hear that they are lousy lays.
You may want to make going down on you easier for him to do. Perhaps flavored jellies, whip cream, being absolutely clean down there, wearing something sexy, etc. By giving him some encouragement (or even dropping into a 69-position) he may get a clue.
You can also start the topic by asking him what his fantasies are or what turns him on. By asking him questions about what he likes it may encourage him to ask what you like... or you could simple come out and say what you like.
Failing you being able to teach him some of the finer things about sex, you may have to ask yourself if you are sexually compatible. Some guys are timid about the bedroom and nothing will change their behavior. Being sexually deprived can make for a long and lonely relationship and you'll want to consider whether the two of you are really meant to be if it is causing you to consider looking around behind his back.
Eddie
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2013): The answer is pretty obvious, find someone that will pleasure you. Jeez, how selfish is this guy? I was married for 8 years and number of times my wife went without climaxing could be counted on one hand!!! For me pleasuring a woman is nearly as good as her pleasuring me, I love it. So do yourself a favour and find someone that appreciated your advances, what a douche this guy is........
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (7 April 2013):
This is an issue with compatibility. You're a selfless lover and your bf is a selfish lover. It'll probably be that way for as long as you're together, but you can try telling him that you've reached the point that you're not sure that the two of you are compatible in the bedroom and if he's not willing to make an effort to please you then you'll be moving on without him.
Give him a chance to change, and if he still won't then you'll have to say goodbye to him. Breaking up with someone you care about but aren't compatible with is difficult, but it's not as hard as getting married to the wrong person. And if you couldn't ever see yourself being with him for the long term why waste anymore time? Life is too short.
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