A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok everyone, I have just recently left my husband. No communication or anything I just changed my number because he was being very horrible to me. In the past he would sometimes get a friend of his to email me for him as my husband cannot write English . This friend of his would usually email me saying can you please call your husband. Now this friend of his was usually quite pleasant towards me and and knew my husband gave me a hard time sometimes. He continued to talk to me sometimes by email and I made our conversations as quick as possible and would tell him bye, I will speak to you some other time, as I did want not to encourage him.His friend is now in a different country than my husband but I know they can still be in contact with each other by social media.The last time I spoke with my husband was about 10 weeks ago when I changed my number. I also spoke with his friend last by email about that same time and he knew I was still in contact with my husband by phone at that point. Since 10 weeks ago I didn’t speak with either of them. Now about 4 weeks ago this friend of his tried emailing me but I lied and got rid of him by saying I couldn’t open my emails to read them and I would contact him when the problem was fixed. I did not intend to contact him back at all. But then 2 weeks ago I received this email from the friend. It said Hi ......, sorry to disturb you, I only try to talk with you one time, sorry if I have said anything to upset you or anything. If you like to spend your life with .......(my husband’s name) or other and if you had asked me this then I would have said this is good. Take care, bye. Now I am totally confused as to what’s going on here, is his friend asking me these questions for himself, am I with my husband or another person or has my husband sent him to find out am I with someone else and his friend is trying to make it look like he hasn’t spoken with my husband and knows really that I’m in not contact with my husband. Everyone’s views would be much appreciated.Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2019): You asked this question a while back and got the same answers.
You do yourself no favours obsessing over this.
If you're so concerned the contact your husband otherwise get a life and move on
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2019): Well nobody knows why? We can't read his mind. But I think you're right to ignore them. If he's your husband's friend then being in contact with him is not good. I wouldn't even bother making excuses anymore, I'd just stop replying.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2019): Hello. What I think is your husband friend is playing dum... he knows you left your husband now you are “available”.. ignore him! Simply do not respond...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (14 December 2019):
 Yep, ignore the emails.
What good are they? What are you supposed to do with them? Change your mind? You have already told him what you are doing and what went down, you OWE this "friend" no explanations.
Finish the divorce, move on. Block the friend if you have to. while the friend might be a nice person he is looking out for HIS friend (your husband) not you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2019): I am the original poster.
I have made it quite clear to the friend that I have no interest in him in the past, and like I said I have kept any previous contact short and tried to get rid of him ASAP.
It’s just that this email came and I’m not sure if my husband is behind it or if his friend is prying himself into my life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2019): Ignore the emails. You shouldn't draw third-parties into your marital-issues; forcing friends take sides is almost taboo. It's your husband's friend, so where do you think his loyalties lie?
I strongly suggest you stick to the plan. Don't respond to the emails. The friend doesn't even live in the same country, and he's obviously not your personal friend; unless you're starting to take a fancy to him. Only thing that could come from that is more complications, and a lot of trouble.
As long as you're still married, I suggest you keep anybody, but a divorce-lawyer, out of your domestic-affairs.
Are you confused, or lonely?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (13 December 2019):
 Does it really matter? I think you did the right thing in refusing to reply to the emails in the first place. Just keep doing the same. He will eventually get bored.
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