A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:For the past 4 years I have had a relationship with a married man. I didn't know he was married when we first met and in fact he was also seeing another woman. After a furious row when I found out we split up but I had fallen hook line and sinker for him and several months later we got back together.He has consistently promised that he will leave his wife as soon as his youngest son is 16 (next year) and has introduced me to his mother and we get on well. The rest of his family know and although they don't approve of his timing they have all been very nice to me. The problem is I feel so cheap and underhand and hate the fact that he goes back to his wife (no sexual relationship his mother assures me) every 3 or 4 days and I feel I'm skulking in the shadows.I'm getting very depressed and dont know what to do
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): You've fallen in to a classic trap. he's got exactly what he wants, a wife and kid and a bit on the side (you). Forget all that bull about him leaving his wife, he won't ever do it. He'll simply come up with a new excuse such as loosing a packet in the divorce, his wife is ill etc. If you give him an ultimatum he'll go elsewhere. I'd tell him to take a hike and get on with your life, a life without him in it.
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (12 August 2007):
 I think hes got his mum fooled as much as you by the sounds of it.
Not saying he doesnt love you, but he doesnt actually know what he wants i bet, of course hes sleeping with his wife. Thats the oldest one in the book. This way, hes buying time, saying about not leaving til his son is a year older. What rubbish. A year isnt going to make a diference, not at his sons age anyway.
Hes a playa. Remember the other woman too? He had 3 on the go. I feel for his mum & wife. They are totally oblivious.Or maybe his mum dotes on him so much that she plays along with his shenannigans.
Obviously i could be way off track but i think you feel all this too & thats why you are feeling so crap right now.
C xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, suekill +, writes (12 August 2007):
I think you just have to trust him and if it is meant to be it will all work out. You need to tell him him how you feel. Don't feel cheap about this although i can understand why but meeting his parents is a step closer to you two being together.
Be happy when you are together and just enjoy each others company. I am sure he will sort things out with you.
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