A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A follow-up on my original question:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-my-husband-having-business-trips-.htmlI thought I'd post a follow-up. Apparently my husband had been living a double life - in Canada and over here. I know this because I hired a private detective to see if he was having an affair or not.Over in Canada he's claiming benefits and apparently looking for work, and the private eye told me that there's no-one else involved, he just spends his time drinking in the local bars when not trying to get employment.I've had to act as if I've no idea what he's been doing, and it's killing me.I've tried talking to him, asking him why he keeps going to Canada so often, but he won't discuss it - but obviously something's going on.how should I deal with this?? The private eye helped straighten things out a bit, but I'm still upset and stressed.
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female
reader, welshlass86 +, writes (10 April 2009):
Try maybe suggesting going with him on one of these business trips with him as support or something for him?! - see what he says to stop you?..or if he agree's you go with him then great! ((Thats if you have no commitments in the UK, or if you have, can you get time of work or anything to suggest going with him?!))
If he says no to you going on these business trips with him, ask him why he refuses and try sparking up a conversation with him about it then?
I hope you getting talking to him!
All the best! I hope ive made a reasonable suggestion that you find useful enough to help you.. Good Luck! xx
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 April 2009):
 Perhaps he is looking for work there, and won't tell you because he thinks he can handle the problems. Or, he's preparing a gracious exit.
If he were just having problems at work, this kind of activities are not the ones people should hide from a wife.
If you don't want to talk, and don't want to be caught by surprise, either, get ready yourself, too.
I think I would talk.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Maybe he is to embaressed to admit his job where you live is going to fall through?
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (10 April 2009):
 Wow, that's some big news. Thanks for the update!
What do you think you should do? You need to confront him, find some proof that he's not coming to Canada for a "business trip" or whatever he tells you when he leaves. It's going to eat at you everyday until you confront him, and what if he leaves one time and doesn't come back? I think you have a right to know why he's searching for employment in Canada.
It seems really odd, and out of place.. especially because there is no other woman involved.
Is the economic crisis hard on the UK? because it's not hitting the maritimes of Canada as bad, is that where he's going?
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