A
male
age
30-35,
*urch
writes:Ok, so I asked this girl out to a movie with a group of friends about two weeks ago. I'm not normally so balsy (asking someone out who you don't know at all is pretty weird at my school) but I'm really attracted to this girl so I just went for it. She had to work all weekend so we just decided to go out the next weekend. We've been texting every day and we've hung out at school a few times and I know that she likes me. Our date is this Saturday, so just a day from now. We're going to a movie at 7 and we're hanging out for a bit before that. The problem is, I have a super-power. I have the ability to make everyone around me feel awkward without feeling any awkwardness myself. I really want this to go well and I don't want to make it awkward. I want to just keep the conversation going, but that's not my greatest skill. Any advice?
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male
reader, Murch +, writes (6 May 2010):
Murch is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys,
Thanks so much for all the advice. I really appreciate it. A lot of what you guys said is stuff that I kinda planned to do, but didn't have much confidence in working. So, now I'm more confident about it.
Oh, and just to clarify: I read over my question and I didn't make it clear that the date is actually just me and her. It was going to be a group date last weekend, but now it's just us.
Thanks again everybody. I'll let you know how it goes.
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Also, if you are at the movie, put your arm around her about 20 minutes in or whatever.
If she likes you, she will not be weirded out at all, and that will make this a lot less awkward in your mind.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (6 May 2010):
One thing people do, myself included, is constantly try and predict things.
Relax.
End of discussion.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (6 May 2010):
 In a word? RELAX. Just relax and keep it that way. I'm betting your super power is good ol' fashioned anxiety. Anxiety is extremely contagious, so if you're getting wound up tight, others can pick up on it and that generally makes them anxious and tense, too. In a flash you have a full blown epidemic of angst. Breathe deep count to 10 or 75, whatever slows it down for you. Realize that she is probably just an anxious as you are. It's perfectly ok not to have something to say every 15 seconds. When in doubt, ask her about herself. Even if it's as simple as favorite color or does she prefer teddy bears or dolls? These little things tell you a lot about someone if you listen. It's always flattering. It says you're interested in who she IS. Always be nice and have good manners. Be thoughtful and smell good (girls adore guys who smell good) Don't marinate in cologne though! Guy-smell mixed with a hint of good cologne or aftershave is positively irresistibly to us! A few splashes an hour or before gametime allows it to mix with you and not be over powering. Trust me, even the slightest whiff of you and she'll remember it. It's a clever trick only the really sharp guys know how to use, well. Don't be afraid to be just you. Just relax, let the evening take it's course and go with it, you'll be a "smooth operator" in no time. Good luck and let me know how it goes!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): Just be yourself!! like uv said uv hung out before nd if that really is your super power it cnt have worked yet. if she likes u it wont matter.
just make a list of things to talk about.
remember to ask about her, her hobbies, family, friends.
B interested!! nd pay attention to what she says!!
nd if she gives short answers move on to a different topic.
but be interested nd care, find out about her, girls like to talk about themselves. she'll enjoy it and remember it as simply having a good time with u.
girls like honesty u could just tell her about ur super power? she'll laugh and like u for it. nd when nd if it happens will know u know u do it(which i doubt u do).
tell her.
b interested.
nd enjoy yourself.
good luck. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): Lol, your super-power is making people feel awkward.
So you don't feel awkward around other people, but they feel awkward around you? Does this also mean you're generally not very coy around people you are attracted to?
I think the most important thing is just to feel comfortable around her, whether you are talking or not. If you're at ease and don't over-analyze or over-think things, she will most likely feel more comfortable around you. Naturally a first day can be awkward, but if she's already likes you and you text every day and have hung out at school, there shouldn't be much of a problem and the date should be at least average...and that's perfectly fine. Plus, you're going with a group of friends so the attention will not be focused entirely on each other, it shouldn't be awkward then. Also, the first date does not fully determine the future of a relationship, give it a second date and by then you should both be more at ease with each other and expressing your thoughts verbally, keeping a conversation going. It will go well, good luck. :]
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A
female
reader, GettingHelp  +, writes (6 May 2010):
Any idea what it is that makes people around you feel awkward?
Whatever it is we all have some kind of super power, mine for instance is to make people mad at me :P lol
But seriously? I understand how it can feel the best advice I can offer is play it cool and focus on the other person, listen and share your side too.
Compliment - even if its only little things like... "You're so great at piano."
Little things are cool :) I know its a group date so try and keep it chilled. Talk about the movie & actors... who's in it... your fav movies of all time, fav actors, fav lines...
Just relax and...
Don't think about the idea that you make people awkward... because it will show in subconcious actions and people will pick up on it. Chill and have a good time, relax and maybe think of some things to talk about BUT be yourself (because everyone else is taken) Stay true to you :)
Good Luck
Let us know how it goes ;)
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