A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey there dear cupid. I have been with my boyfriend for going on a year now. Here lately things have been rocky between us due to alot of things going on for both of us outside of the relationship. Financial issues, work related issues, and family issues, and its overwhelming for both of us. We are constantly in bad moods, we are constantly stressed out etc.Its to the point where my boyfriend is feeding me the line "Its not you its me" and telling me that he's not sure if we should stay together or not. I love this man with all of my heart and would do absolutely anything for him. With the way he's talking though, I'm beginning to wonder if I should just walk away, and after he gets everything straightened out let him come back to me if he wants to be with me. I am hurting so bad right now bcause I have devoted alot to this relationship and sacrificed alot for this relationship. I really want to believe that its just other circumstances as far as his job and family thats causing him to feel this way. But deep down I don't believe it. No matter how much it would hurt me to walk away, and no matter how hard it would be, I want to make the right decision and I don't want to go through this hurt and uncertainty anymore. I can't deal with it. I often times feel that we are on completely diffrent pages as far as the relationship goes. Any advice at all would be appreciated. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, stuckinthemiddle81 +, writes (13 August 2008):
 I have been experiencing this myself with my boyfriend as of late. We have totally different families with big issues, he's been hating his job lately, our finanical differences are huge and we only get to see each other once or twice a week if we are lucky due to my having to take care of my family.
This past weekend, he finally broke down and told me everything that he has been feeling about his life, that he is pretty down and doesn't know what to do. I have also been feeling down about life but didn't dare tell him at this particular time because I wanted to focus on him and have him vent. I didn't want to make it all about me. And since I've been doing the unhealthy thing of bottling it up away from him, I decided to mail him a letter with a copy of two journal entries of mine where I describe truly how I feel about my life to show him he is not alone in feeling this way. I'm hoping in showing him these deep personal entries, he will no longer repress his feelings--and also make me feel more comfortable in telling him how I feel.
Try not to take it personally, I try not to but it is difficult. You and your boyfriend need to have a long discussion/venting session to make it clear that he is not lying to you and to stop you from walkign away from something that could be special.
Hard times come and go, some times they linger, some times it doesn't go away at all, but do not deprive yourself true happiness with your boyfriend. And don't deprive him of your love, he may really need you but doesn't know how to tell you...
I hope this helped in some way..Good luck.=-)
A
female
reader, junebug +, writes (13 August 2008):
ok im so sorry to hear this but when a couple has money or family issuies then that makes the relationship harder.trust me.my boyfriend and i was liveing 2gether then his gpa passed away(which he was super close to) then we got into debt so that made us have to move into a camper!CAMPER even durning the winter.cold.then i lost my job.the whole time he was talking to this whore bcuz we were haveing $ problems and family problems.so then fanially after 7 months we got a apt. And we are still in debt but at least we aint in a camper.we been pretty much happy yea a fight here or there but just hang in there make sure he understands to not take anything out on ur guys relationship.like if at the time ur stressing about bills or family issiues dont take it out on each other.but hey my b/f is sorry for talking to that one whore and this morning we found out that she works with his mom now.great!so no matter what happens life is gonna throw things at u guys.love conquers all.i know its hard.i wish u the best o luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): Listen to what your heart is telling you, and if you know that deep down, you need to walk away, then do it Sweetie. It may hurt for a little while...but it is better that having doubts in your heart for a lifetime to come. Just let him go, and heal what he needs to, and you do the same... and in the time to come, and you have both worked out the things that are bothering you, then get back together. Best of luck Sweetie!
...............................
|
