A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a few questions for you guys.1. Why do guys loose intrest in kissing after couple of months of dating? It seems to me, that first you are all into it, beeing kissed and such, and than, you just loose intrested and its more like "Lets just get this over with, I wana go sleep" 2. Why is it ok for men to have "many GF" (during their life) but if a woman has more than 5men in her life, she si all the sudden dirty slut? 3. Why is it ok for you guys, to check out girls on the streets, but when we does it, its something wrong 'BAD BAD GIRL!'4. Why are you always soooo stubborn. You have to be always right, even when you are not just because you are guys! 5. Why the heck do you always leave the toilet seat up!!!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 March 2015):
I’m not a guy but NONE of my guys ever had these issues
1. My husband still kisses me and blows my socks off…
2. I have had FOUR husbands and numerous lovers… I’m no slut. If a man calls you a slut regardless of if you are a prostitute or a virgin, he’s no man to be with as he has NO respect for you.
3. I’m allowed to check out girls on the street. I do it all the time and point out the cute ones to the hubby. I check out the men too… Not bad.. just human
4. This applies to all stubborn people NOT just men. I have friends that are female and are more stubborn than any man I know. It’s not a gender specific issue
5. My sons do not leave the toilet seat up. I trained them right. I have never had a husband leave a seat up either. Now male guests will. It drives me NUTS. It’s because their MOTHERS didn’t train them properly.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 March 2015):
I found your post both sad and humorous. And I truly hope you are generalizing.
1. Been with my hubby for 19 years (married 17) and we still kiss. If you date a guy who stops kissing.. move on. Why? Because he OBVIOUSLY doesn't know that kissing goes STRAIGHT to a woman's libido.
2. It goes back to the whole social & religious standards. A woman who was PURE in body was presumed to be PURE in MIND and soul. SO the less partner, the PURER the woman. Nowadays? I think it's because men don't like to "compete" or be compared. (not that ALL women do that) - but they don't want to think that some dude were bigger or better than him. I say DO what works for you. MORALLY and EMOTIONALLY and screw what the patriarchy thinks. THAT also means DO NOT judge other women for their choices.
3. I have never heard that women can't notice good looking guys. I think in GENERAL woman are just more subtle about it, you won't see a woman "wolf-whistle" at a guy jogging by or yell GREAT ARSE on that one!! Women ALSO tend to keep to themselves a bit more if alone out in public to AVOID unwanted attention.
4. I'm pretty stubborn myself, my husband is pretty stubborn. We are VERY good at agreeing to disagree on certain subject. IF a guy thinks he HAS to be right JUST because he has testicles, walk away - the guy is actually insecure and scared of not being the smarter one. (probably because he isn't).
5. In this house we are 4 females and one male, so the TOILET SEAT + LID goes down. It JUST makes sense. BUT I'd say if we had had 3 sons, not daughters, it would STILL go down! It's bad manner and no attention to hygiene.
Let me just quote WebMD:
Always flush with the lid down.
According to Charles Gerba, PhD, a professor of microbiology at University of Arizona in Tucson, flushing the toilet with the lid up is not wise. "Polluted water vapor erupts out of the flushing toilet bowl and it can take several hours for these particles to finally settle -- not to mention where," he says. "If you have your toothbrush too close to the toilet, you are brushing your teeth with what's in your toilet."
"bacteria and vomiting, can be spewed up to 10 inches above toilet seats with every open flush." HOW GROSS IS THAT?
And let's not forget if you have pets. CONSIDER that drinking from the toilet can be considered" cute" in some internet video but also toxic for the pets as most of the cleaning solutions used are TOXIC for any living being.
IT'S FREAKING common SENSE to put the seat down & close the lid.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 March 2015):
 Yours is such a wide ,cliche' generalization, that it is cute as a tongue-on-cheel, humorous piece of writing, but.. it's just not true. If it is true for you, it means that you pick the wrong guys, probably because you aren't selective enough, discriminating enough , and don't have the patience/ guts to go for what you REALLY like in a man.
1 ) I have met meny men who are good kissers, into foreplay etc. If tehy like you, it's not an effort for them doing this stuff, it's a pleasure because it makes things last longer, there's more to enjoy, more to explore ( although yes, some times it's human and normal when you are tired or pressed for time etc. to just want getting over with it ).
If they don't kiss you anymore after just 2 months, ... tehy simply arent'r that much into you, that's all.
2) It's OK, says who that's OK ? Not in my experience. If you are with someone who thinks of you as a dirty slut because you had more than 5 partners... maybe you are just hanging out with the wrong crowd, you just need to befriend more enlightened, respectful, open-minded people.
3) Again, says who ?? Men look... and women look too. It's human nature, and it is Ok as long as it's not done in a crass, leering, offensive, disrespectful way. Disrespectful foe the woman / man who is with you AND for the woman / man who is being looked at. Otherwise, no big deal.
4 ) Women can be super stubborn too ! Men do not have the exclusivity on stubborness, it's not a typically masculine trait.
5 ) They do not always leave the toilet seat up- only those who had moms who did not teach them properly.
My son does NOT leave the toilet sit up, because he has been trained since when he was very young to leave it down, now for him it's something very authomatic and ingrained, it's a habit, not something that he needs to think about.
I understand that you are frustrated with one, or more, male INDIVIDUALS, and although I won't deny the existence of gender specific traits / inclinations, it sounds to me like none of those you mentioned are among them.
Ultimatelu, a person is a person, way before being a male or a female, with ots personalir quirks, foibles, habits, preferences, etc.
It's up to you to decide what you can live with, and what you can not- and just stay away from people who display the traits which you strongly dislike, regardless what gender they belong to.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 March 2015):
 1. My husband thinks that kissing *IS* the good stuff. He likes to better than I do! I stock up on mouthwash and toothpaste.
2. Compatibility. There is a double standard to be sure, but there are also guys out there who don't have one. It's also about retroactive jealousy. I've seen more guys have it than girls.
3. Everyone checks out everyone! Guys with good manners have good peripheral vision.
4. EGO. We women are even MORE stubborn than men are! We are far far far more stubborn.
5. I'm outnumbered in my household - growing up with brothers and living with guys. I'm used to putting the seat down. I consider them NOT going to the bathroom on a closed seat to be courtesy, and worth putting it down myself when I need to use it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2015): I think you should ask these questions to the people that you have a problem with.
My man does none of the above and it's not fair to lump all guys in one basket like this.
Simply move on from the guys who are not your time - there are plenty of gentlemen out there ;-)
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (21 March 2015):
You're generalizing too much.
1. Been married 8 years and still love kissing my wife.
2. If a guy believes you're a dirty slut then you're with the wrong guy. But it's his right to expect his woman to have had under a certain amount of partners if that's important to him. Just like it's your right. I'm sure every woman I've been with has had more than five guys and it doesn't bother me, although I don't like a girl who will have sex with any random guy. To me it implies that she's less likely to be faithful.
3. I don't obviously check women out in front of my wife as I find it disrespectful, but she understand its human nature to occasionally look. So, we both do on occasion, no big deal.
4. I apologize all the time, even when I don't think I did anything wrong, just to keep the peace. My wife has only apologized a handful of times in 8 years.
5. Why do you always leave the toilet seat down???
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2015): 1. I don't do that. 4 years with my current GF and I still initiate more kisses than she does.
2. Why are you okay with slutty men? Men as a group are no more promiscuous than women. Both sides must average out to the same numbers, mathematically. If you know lots of slutty men then that is your choice to associate with those kinds of men. Millions of other men are not slutty. We have a low opinion of promiscuity in women because we have a low opinion of it period. Guys mostly don't care what other guys are doing either way. Being a male slut doesn't impress other guys like women believe it does. Being a male slut mainly impresses women. (Oh yeah, women SAY they aren't impressed by male sluts . . . but they like knowing they can land a popular one.)
3. Once again, it's your choice to associate with those people. Many other people are not like that.
4. Same thing, your choice to be around these guys. Women usually prefer strong-willed men (even when we are wrong) to less assertive & confident men who are right more often.
5. Why the heck do you always leave the toilet seat DOWN? When we need to pee in a hurry we need it UP. So your way is just as wrong for us as our way is for you. And why are women entitled to not only have it their way, but have it their way so completely that they expect to not even look before sitting down? Here is what men do when living in a house with other men: We take a quarter of a second and look before sitting down. Try it sometime, its really not that difficult.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2015): 1. Worrying about bad breath, yours or ours. Hygiene. You are right get it over and get to the good stuff.
2.So many answers even though most promote/justify a double standard. The old master key/shitty lock analogy. But I think the best answer I have heard is men place an inordinate value on chastity. It shows selfcontrol and pickiness, both desirable qualities.
3.Can't answer that. I am an equal opportunity advocate. It is not a problem for either sex as long as they recognize they are not the most attractive example of their gender. We are all going to see someone more beautiful/handsome than our partner at some time so stop thinking we need to measure up. Feel free to discuss what we find attractive in another person. REMOVE JEALOUSY and all is good.
4.Let's agree to disagree. I find that most males are more reasonable and open to a differing view while most women get emotionally attached to an idea and have a hard time letting go.
5.Not a problem here. I squat to pee. No lifted seat, dribbles on the seat, splashes on the floor and trying to time the finishing squeeze. But most importantly no complaints from my wife.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2015): 1) on the sexual arousal scale making out is dead last. Would you want to do stuff that gives you least pleasure? Didn't think so.
2) less sex any person has better the marriage. As for quantity of sex, let's just note the biology of how men and women are made. Men are biologically made to be able to have sex with women but never to attach to them. Women could have sex with one guy and form an attachment so more men she does more attachment she makes and that impedes loyalty in a marriage. So once married, past women mean nothing to a guy but past men tarnish woman's lotalty in the marriage
3) we all know you check out hot guys but as long as you don't go with them nobody cares
4) men are solution oriented and any talking has to aim at solving a problem. Women love To talk about the problem as though we men are too stupid to see it. Let's see you focus on a solution rather then drenching a guy with the obvious
5) because next time when we have to pee we don't have to bend so we think ahead!
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