A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am in quite a fix please help me out hereI have been dating my boyfriend for about a year,a few weeks ago I told him something about my "so called" family member (we are not in touch,our families don't talk to each other,they have been nothing but a pain to my dad and also to us) My dad's sister ran away and married a goon and was involved in a lot of crimes and he died when I was barely 8 years old and I am 26 years now. I haven't met this so called goon uncle but it's a problem to my boyfriend because I did not mention this earlier, and that his family might not want to associate with my family because of what my dad's sister did - by marrying a criminal who is now dead!I feel deeply hurt because my aunt(dad's sister) has been nothing but pure evil to us and my dad,always put us down and troubled us. Now my marriage might not happen because of who she married!I should have told my boyfriend earlier about this which I didnt I was too afraid of how he would react!Its unfair that I have to be punished for what someone else in my family did who we do not associate with,I think my boyfriend might leave me if his parents are not convinced!whAt do I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am deeply disappointed with him and he keeps telling me that his family will never judge me and that it's not my family's fault!if that's the case then what's stopping them from accepting me and my family!i work in a reputed firm as an IT professional ..he says he Ioves me and doesn't want to leave me but I don't know how he would act under pressure when his family persuade him to leave,I have met his family so many times and they liked me so from meeting them so often and now after this I may not even be welcomed in his house it's very demeaning
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 May 2016):
 This is not your aunts fault, this is your boyfriends fault, if he really loved you he would not care what your aunt done, are you sure he is not just looking for an excuse to leave? It sounds dodgy to me. If I loved someone I would love them for who they are not their family. His family sound like a bunch of snobs and I wouldn't want to have anything to do with them if it was me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2016): You would've had this problem with your boyfriend and his family no matter when you told them. If they are that unacccepting of a family who like most families on the planet have members who don't fit in society's expectations, then do you really want to be associated with that kind of family. Someone that snooty and snobby probably isn't going to make a good life partner. And in the US, how is it that a family decides who the son marries? That's not how it happens in the culture in the US. So I assume his family lives elsewhere, I would stop worrying about it. You'll find out soon enough if they have a charitable side to them or not. All you can do is wait and see, if you're willing to put up with that kind of treatment.
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