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Ex wants to be friends but with benefits. But I just want friendship. How do I handle this?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends, Friends with Benefits, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 February 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 February 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, *idsummer writes:

My ex broke up with me since he had come out of a long term relationship not too long ago, and he wasn't ready to go into a new one. I was sad because during the time we were together he acted like a good bf, bt i still wanting him in my life so i agreed to be just friends. I told him, that being just friends meant no sex, kissing or touching and he agreed. So i invited him over to watch a movie and eat, and he wouldnt keep his hands off me, he kept wanting to kiss me n asking me for sex. The whole time I said no, and tried to push him away, I even had to take him out for a walk just to calm him down. I was kinda surprised actually, because he was so determined about us being friends, that i thought he meant actual friends. I don't know what to do, he obviously wants to be friends with benefits or sex buddies. But Im not that kind of girl just to sleep with someone ahe is not with, n he knows that. I want to still be his friend bec he is a fun and caring person , but i dnt want to have to spend hours pushing someone off me :-(

pls help

View related questions: broke up, friend with benefits, kissing

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A female reader, agneeman South Africa +, writes (2 February 2014):

agneeman agony auntYou are not his dick rag and you.heart is not a plaything. Being his rebound was humiliating enough.

Run! Run faaaaaar away. You like him, you are vulnerable and he does not give a shit.

I've been with "that guy". That guy was my first boyfriend. I've been pressured into FWB and eventually he did fall in love with me and marry me. We divorced the day after our second anniversary. Ten years of my life and I didn't even know he had a small dick.

Please let my story scare you. Please run. Please don't hide your hope for love under this "friend" bull. He is NOT behaving as a friend and in this misogynistic world of ours, the fact that you gave in to this pressure will one day make it your fault, and "what did you expect?"

Tell him to f*ck off, please?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 February 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with iAmHereToHelpYou - TELL him what you want, if he can't agree to JUST being friends (which quite frankly might not work well for you two with your past dating history) then cut him lose - that means NO contact.

My suggestion, do be alone at either of your places, see each other in public places where he can't pull the "I WANT you move" on you.

I don't really think HE can be a friend (not to you) or at least NOT yet. It might take a good long while before he doesn't think "SEX" every time you are together.

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