A
female
age
26-29,
*ancakes rule
writes:This guy i did stuff with while drunk keeps trying to contact me through facebook, but he was just a DISGUSTING mistake and I really don't want to have anything to do with him...How can I reject him without seeming like a bit of a b****?
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drunk, facebook Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, marriedlady  + ♥, writes (6 November 2009):
 Ask older sister is right. When you respond in any way it only encourages him to respond back. The less he hears from you the less you will hear from him. trust me on this....mal
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 + ♥, writes (5 November 2009):
 If you have to have contact with him, I personally love to use the passive tense to get out of any further entanglement.
"It's not possible." "That's not an option." "It's just not going to work." "Alas, that's not something that will happen." Convoluted and in the passive tense, it's almost not possible to respond to something like that! Do not elaborate further. Just a straight and simple, "Sorry, not going to work/happen."
Adopt a tone of uninterested mild regret that you cannot continue contact with him, but only if you have to reply for some reason.
No LOL's, no winky emoticons ;) no emotion whatsoever. A flat affect, that's what you're going for.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (5 November 2009):
 You don't owe him anything so don't respond at all. Any response will give him something to work with or negotiate around. You aren't being a bitch, you are just completely unavailable to him in every way. That's the message you will send across by not replying, the truth.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): Hi . Why not send a brief message saying that you have a boyfriend .....
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A
female
reader, marieclaire +, writes (5 November 2009):
 why not be a bitch? he obviously isn't getting the message
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule + ♥, writes (5 November 2009):
pancakes rule is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for the advice=)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  + ♥, writes (5 November 2009):
Oh dear. Not a great position, because some men can't always take the hint. You need to be a bit firm, even if you do come off seeming a bit of a b****, because if you don't he won't leave you alone for quite some time. I would suggest that you write politely to him and explain that although you are flattered by his attention, you're just not interested in him that way. Then stop all contact and block him. You won't come out looking great, but then nobody every does. Also, it's better than him being strung along. Finally, be careful when you have alcolhol. Don't be in an unsafe situation. All the best.
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A
female
reader, d-m_girl  +, writes (5 November 2009):
 Hey there.
I'd suggest, just say 'Hey, look... I know you want more, and im not trying to hurt you or be a b****... So sorry if it seems like that, But i'm not really up for it. I was just having a bit of fun, And im not interested in taking it any further.'
no problem in tellin a bit of a white lie to spare hurting his feelings.
or maybe.
'Hey, i know you want to take this further, But im not interested in taking it any further than what happened. Sorry if i offend or upset you, but i just dont want to ok? and you have to understand that that's my decision'
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