A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Situation overviewUniversity second yearMe: 20 years old, never had a relationshipher: 20 years old, six months older than me, no idea about past relationshipsWell me met about 9-10 months ago. We started just meeting every week or every fortnight for a coffee on a Saturday afternoon. Towards the end of the year we spent a bit more time together and we went out to dinner together once. It was a nice evening but didn't go greatly. I went to visit her once over the summer. Had a three hour journet either way and spent about 4 hours together.Anyway, getting back in September. First time she sees me she comes and gives me a hug. I had a bit of a down day and we met up for a coffee, and she ends up coming over for dinner. Since then we met up a lot. A couple of weekends back we had a casual dinner together (not a date) on Thursday, she came over for dinner on Friday, then we spent the afternoon together on Saturday and on Saturday. Didn't see her Monday but saw her Tuesday. She is always happy to see me. Oh actually I bumped into her on the Monday, but she was tired and stressed at the time, so we didn't talk much. Anyway we have been meeting up at least every other day if she is free. She has been helping to run societies but says she isn't getting on with it as they don't seem to get things done. Said she'd rather see me. Actually I have had her over for a meal twice, had a meal out together once, and met for tea/coffee probably half a dozen times at least in the last three weeks.She spends a lot of time with me, actually invited me over for a meal once as well, but that was when I suggested she come over for a meal at my place.When we are together and when it's quiet she'll often give me this really sweet look and smile. Sometimes she'll gently rub my arm or pat my arm or should gently, if I feel down or anything, or if we are just together and I rest my head down on my arms a bit.She always gives me a bit of a hug when we meet and when she leaves.I asked her out for dinner again and she accepted.She has patted my hand once or twice when we are together, even when other people are about. Once it was when we talking about a problem with texting - that I can only text her as a reply - so she tells me in a sort of playfully demeaning way (demeaning is a really bad word but it is the only one that comes to mind - teasing?? not sure) to always keep a text from her handy, while gently patting y hand. This was in public as well.She always tells me how much she enjoys my company and spending time together. I started texting her good night, sweet dreams and she replied saying something like "aww thanks that's so sweet".And on Friday, when I last saw her, as we parted, and I waved to her she grasped my hand and held it for a couple of seconds before I went to my lecture.I have become more attracted to her since getting back from the summer, and I have never liked anyone so much.My gut says she likes me. I just can't be certain considering my complete lack of experience.I think the time we spend together, the way we talk so closely (she tells me everything she has been doing - I try to tell her, but I think being a man I naturally talk less), she hugs, the touching, and especially those really sweet looks she gives me when I look at her. The meals. Everything. I think we both want more I think. I think we want to be together.Should I take the next step or am I mad?I have talked it over at great length with my grandmother who believes that the young lady must like me.Forgive the garbled language. It is inexcusable for a scholarship student in his honours years. It is however nearly 10.40 PM and I am tired and getting ready for sleep.Thanks folks,Kind regards
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy thing is I have a lack of confidence due to being overweight.
I think I am starting to overcome that really well I guess now I am just needing to find the right person for me. And for someone to find me as the right person.
Thanks. This is similar to feedback I have had from others. I am maybe simply not ready for a relationship at this time in my life.
I am not necessarily looking for a serious long term one while I am still in uni, but don't just want a fling with any girl.
A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (2 November 2009):
 Sorry to not reply to this post/your message earlier, have been away for the week!
I suppose it just seems from your actions, and the way that you portrayed your situation, that you're well educated, respectful of women, caring, all round a very genuine person, and those qualities definitely apeal to the majority of women who know whats good for them! Its nice that you seem to be looking to really connect with somebody, rather than just being a 20 year old looking to get some notches on the bedpost.. thats what attracted me to my boyfriend, and I'm sure you'll make somone very happy :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's very good of you to say.
What is it that makes you say what you do? I want to understand what I could offer someone. :)
I'm not going to attract a girl with my looks. so I guess it is important to know.
Thank you :-)
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (25 October 2009):
Hi, I realise I didn't answer to your question originally, but I read it and was pretty touched by its genuine and sweet nature, I think this girl is missing out on something special! Please don't be discouraged by this, you sound like the kind of man that any woman would be lucky to have by her side :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh well it wasn't to be.but I still have a lovely lady as my good friend
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks :)
Good luck with your guy. If he's anything like me he'll love it. Remember it's hard not to like someone when you know they like you, and I guess it can apply to relationships.
I hope all works out with my young lady. I deserve to be happy and find someone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): Aw, you sound like the sweetest guy!! I think she definitely likes you. All the things she does with you are exactly what I would do (if I had the guts!) with the guy I like. She probably doesn't want to make the first serious move, thinking she might scare you off or you don't really want to be with her, so she does these things to make it as obvious as she feels brave enough to.
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