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Does he want her or me?

Tagged as: Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 May 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

"OPs own title" I need help! I've been involved with this guy for a few years now. We've hooked up randomly throughout the years, but we've both been in relationships. Now I am single and he's very interested in me. He texts me constantly and we hook up once in awhile. He's told me that he has feelings for me, and I do for him too. Last week I told him that I won't be the "other" woman anymore, not that I necessarily want a relationship with him, I just don't want to be sneaking around behind ANYONE's back. He broke up with her the next day and came to see me. Everything seemed great, but then he didn't text me or call me for a week. Today I found out he was back with his girlfriend, so I texted him basically saying "Thanks for using me" and he freaked out. He told me that he cares about me but that he's so confused and he doesn't want to hurt anyone. I don't get it. He complains about her constantly and tells me how happy I make him, but he can't make up his mind. I know what I should do, leave him, tell him to go fly a kite, but I think this could really be something if he could just get over HER.

Please help, what can I do to be supportive but firm? To let him know how I feel but without scaring him off? Or should I just call it quits before I get anymore involved?

View related questions: broke up, text

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (28 May 2010):

aphexinfinite agony auntyou can wait till the end of time for someone to do the not neccesary *right thing* but sometimes it just doesnt happen and sometimes it does. but how long are you prepared to wait ? what if its a scam to have both women. i think you are more than this and deserve to be treated better either he loves and wants to be with you or he doesnt dont let him have his cake and eat it. if you dont want your heart broken walk away and be strong and find the one who will be begging you not making up excuses good luck aphex xx

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