A
female
age
36-40,
*istorygirl26
writes:Ok, I dated this guy for a few months. Things got off to a slow start, but then they started to pick up and I really thought that he liked me. Our last date was probably the best...but that's just it, it was the last one. We just stopped talking as much, but he still seemed to make an effort to visit me at work now and then. During this time, I didn't really make much of an effort to contact him since "if he isn't calling, he isn't interested," right? My hurt feelings at being ignored (esp. on Valentine's Day) snowballed and I got angry at him, told him he hurt my feelings, he lashed out at me about blaming him entirely for our lack of communication and reminded me of how "busy" he is, but he said he wanted to talk it out when I became less angry. That was almost two months ago, and we haven't spoken yet. When we bump into each other, he acts like nothing is wrong, but it is awkward. Should I try to mend fences, or is it too late? Since he isn't coming to me, does it mean he really doesn't care about me anymore and I should just forget him? I don't want to go back to dating him, but I don't want this to end badly with all these unanswered questions.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Have no regrets, darling. It's not something you did or omitted to do. I can't be totally sure based on that little you told us, but it sounds like a very frequent, common story.
You thought he liked you, and he DID : to some extent. He liked you until the story was enough low maintenance for his tastes and he did not have to put into you more time, attention and effort that he was willing to give ( not terribly much ).
If he had been drawn to you as much as you were to him, he would not have been put off by your nervousness or by some little misunderstandings,- there are always kinks to be ironed at the beginning of every relationship and everybody knows it , it all depends if they feel like ironing...
A
female
reader, historygirl26 +, writes (12 May 2011):
historygirl26 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, CindyCares, for your quick response! I know most ladies out there my age would probably have forgotten all about the dude by now, but I think it is still bothering me because, despite my age, I am pretty inexperienced with this whole dating game. I wonder, too, if my nervousness due to this very fact was interpreted by him as lack of interest at times, and I know there were some things I did that confused him. I keep thinking about all of the things we did together, and what a caring person he seemed to be until things went downhill. Hopefully, I will grow a thicker skin...
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (11 May 2011):
I would not waste my breath.
Everybody is " busy " in our society, and the truth is the busiest guy of them all will MAKE some time for you if he is really interested.
I also don't think that he after two months he has not approached you because he is still waiting for you to become less angry ( at least if you weren't actually foaming at the mouth ! ) More probably, he just let it slide , thinking that if you are so into him you'll approach him first, and if not, oh well. No biggie.
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