A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I was with my ex for 2 months before he split with me for someone else back in august. I was in love with him so this was heartbreaking for me. 2 weeks later I find that Im pregnant by him. He didnt want to know and so I had an abortion as Im too young to have a child by myself (im 23). We stopped talking as I found it extremely difficult when he had a new gf, I still loved him and I felt that he hadnt been there for me when I went thru with the abortion. He was supportive but I could tell he didnt want the child and he wouldnt leave his new gf to get back with me, which I think he should of done. Anyway, a few weeks ago I saw him out. We ended up going back to his and we had sex. The next day he was real nice, wanting me to stay even though he was still with his gf. Later on, however, he rang me and asked me to deny it to his new gf if she found it. I was insulted by this, he was trying tokeep me as his dirty little secret. So when she did find out she phoned me and asked me and I admitted it. I dont see why I should lie. Anyway, my ex went mad at me called me all the names under the sun and was generally just an absolute bastard. I was extremely upset, after everything I'd been through all he was worried about was his new gf bein upset, when it was mostly his fault anyway!! He wasnt thinking about her when he was with me that night! Anyway, i retaliated to his abuse by sending him a very long, nasty message detailing what a bastard he was and to never speak to me again. I also critisised his personal things and how he was in bed. I know it sounds immature but I was hurt. Anyway, last week I had to text him to ask for some ofmy things from his house. To my suprise, he was really nice to me. He even said that he knew he was a bastard and was gonna change. He didnt want to live like that anymore. I just said yea ok and left it at that. I havnt heard from him since. But why do you think he has said this? Does he feel guilty about how he treated me? I dont think he wants to get back with me cos I havnt heard from him since. I know his gf dumped him when she found out about us. Could this whole situation really have changed him? Do you think I should contact him and try talking, as I still love him so much ( I have no idea why as he has treated me so bad) or should I just leave it?
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female
reader, mightaphodite  +, writes (7 December 2008):
Read your letter as if someone else had written it. Let's say your best friend. Would you support her decision to try to contact him and prolong the pain? Ask yourself if you can really love a man who left a woman, didn't care about her feelings towards pregnancy, cheated with her on his current girlfriend and wanted her to lie for him afterwards? Two months is not enough to really get to know someone. He left you period. When you were in a difficult position he showed his true face. He was obviously not to be trusted before and I would certanly not trust him now when he's been dumped. Be strong and move on...
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (7 December 2008):
I'd just leave it.
He left you for someone else. You went through an abortion because of him.
You may still love him but he did those things and even if he tries to change that doesn't change the fact that there will always be all that stuff hanging over you both.
Good Luck!! xx
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