A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Does anyone ever feel sexually inadequate when they know their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend has had many more partners before you? I'm in a very loving relationship with a wonderful man. We've discussed marriage multiple times and we're both loving and committed to each other. I know of at least 5 girls whom he's had sex with and I know for sure that there are many more than that. I'm going to guess probably between 15-20. It really bothers me! He's my 3rd partner and I feel much less experienced than he is and almost like I'm not good enough. He says I'm good in bed but sometimes brings up stories about girls he has had sex with before like how one girl's bellybutton ring got caught on his pants and ripped so he was glad I didn't have one. Little things like that are constant reminders that so many girls have slept with him before. It hurts and I know that's stupid because it's not like he and I were together when he had sex with them. He's never cheated on me so I can't figure out why I feel this way. Please help!
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (22 April 2011):
Yes. Of course hearing your partner talking about past lovers make you feel inadequate. Maybe he didn't noticed yet, but he's making a big mistake by giving you details about his sexual past. That could hurt you and damage your relationship in the near future.It even doesn't matter if you have more or less past lovers than him. Most people doesn't like picturing the person they love having sex with another person.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (22 April 2011):
 If a guy only wants to be with you for one night, or a short fling, your lack of experience and skill in bed is an issue. If a guy genuinely wants to be with you for a long time, lack of experience is not a problem (and in fact, is probably a good thing). As long as you're willing to be with him and broaden your horizons with him, he'll be completely fine with it.
In general, girls value experience in guys far more than guys value it in girls. Not always true, but a good generalization.
That assumes, of course, that the cause of your insecurity really is your own lack of experience. If that's the case, just knowing it doesn't matter can help. If the cause is really his surfeit of experience, and you don't like the idea of being with a guy who has slept around because you worry about his character, there's not much you can do. Try to figure out which it is (it may be a combination), and act accordingly. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 No I don't because I do many things that other women consider dirty and sluttish. My boyfriend has commented on how happy he is with me and our sexual chemistry is good. I am also very vain. I guess that helps.
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