A
female
age
41-50,
*uri
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been on/off together for 8 years. We have a 3 year old boy which I really don't think he is bothered about. He never buys him clothes or toys it always me who does. He doesn't live with us, he's 40 and still lives with his mum who does anything for him even tho she is 72! Last week he started a fencing job and he now says he needs a van to go to this job. He is a banned driver for having no insurance etc. four days ago he asked me to phone a van rental hire company up and as I have a full licence he wanted it to look as if I wanted to hire it but him to drive it. After thinking about it I said no because I didn't want to risk losing my licence. I told him over a text and he didn't reply back and has not been in touch with me since. I haven't phoned or text him because I'm sick and tired of rows he causes and the violence for the past 8 years. I don't think he wants to be with me anymore because of it. Do you think im being selfish towards him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): you are soft and a little stupid
he is garbage a user scum
a man would not let a woman use him like this
tell him to get lost and get a court order for child support
A
female
reader, suri +, writes (13 July 2007):
suri is verified as being by the original poster of the question i have now realised that im not being selfish,im just doing the write thing.especially when 'been there done it' said, what if someone when he was driving got killed,im sooo glad i never now.thank you ever so much for your responses.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (13 July 2007):
 you are NOT being selfish at all!!this guy is completely taking advantage of the perks of being with you and is in a great situation living with his mum and coming to you wen he wants someone to be with. stand your ground and walk away from this guy he sounds like he has ALOT of growing up to do and he wont do it knowing you are still there. you obviously deserve someone who will respect you and your son and be mature enough to handle the relationship.
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (13 July 2007):
 Hi there hun,
NO NO NO NO NO you were not being selfish you were being responsible he was the one banned from driving for having no insurance....
If he had of used that van he would have been driving on a ban how would you ahe felt if he had had an accident and killed someone????
You have a three year old son to think of you don't need the police at your door hun so well done you.....
He needs to untie himself from his mothers apron strings and grow up and realise he has responsiblities let him sulk if he chooses to ignore you then so be it, you carry on being a great mum and show your 3 year old son how to grow into a fine law abiding young man, well done you!!!!!!!!
Love Donna xx
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (13 July 2007):
 Not at all there is no way anyone would consider what you said as being selfish, you have to look out for you and your boy and the consequences for you would be very severe if he had been caught driving with out his licence and it was you that signed the agreement.
If he does not want to be with you over something as petty as that then he clearly not worth it, and you certainly don't deserve to be treated in this way, especially the violence.
I would walk away and just look after you and your son.
Take care.xx.
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