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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been married for 16 years and have a 14 year old son, I have been friends with a man from work on and off for 10 years, lunch now and then and friendly chats nothing more than that, although I have been attracted to him since the first day we met. Then about 6 months ago our relationship became flirty over emails and then eventually sexual, it is the most passionate I have ever experienced, we are both in unhappy marriages and now love each other deeply. His parents divorced when he was 17 and he suffered depression for 2 months in hospital and he made a vow to himself that he would never put his children through what he went through his father left his mother for another woman and his mother blamed him!!(he has 3 children, ages 18, 16 and 13). He now says that he wants to be with me and we share dreams of our parallel world together, going on holiday visiting places etc. Do you think he will leave his family?
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (14 October 2006):
 I doubt it...he said to you that he wouldn't put his children through that ordeal,although they are nearly adults now.What puzzels me is he was quite willing to have an affair with you,even though he stood the moral high ground when it came to the children.Trouble is,are you going to wait until he changes his mind? This is what i call the waiting game,now you can continue as you are and hopefully you wont get found out in the mean time but its very risky,how will your son and husband feel when it all comes out in to the open? And will your lover support you if the secret does come out between you two?...or does your intuition tell you that your lover will stick to his wife and deny all? Personally i think he is using the kids bit as an excuse because they aren't that young apart from the 13 year old maybe but i wouldn't count on it.The ball is in your court now.
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