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Do teachers ever have crushes on their students?

Tagged as: Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 March 2009) 8 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2009)
A female United States age 22-25, *itty_3 writes:

Hello, all! I'm looking to hear from any teachers out there (especially young and/ or male ones) on the subject of student/ teacher relationships.

I've noticed that there are countless posts on this website of students (especially females) declaring their love for teachers. I get it. School is boring; teachers can be hot. But going all out flirting seems like a bad idea.

I wonder: do teachers pick up on these signals? Do teachers ever-- seriously, ever-- have even the tiniest crushes on students? It seems that no good can come from them, as they will alienate the teacher, but teachers have feelings too. And if both student and teacher shared the same feelings, it could work. But do they ever feel these sort of feelings for students?

Sorry for my rambling... I guess I have a lot on my mind. Feel free to add your thoughts-- teachers especially!

View related questions: crush, flirt

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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009):

I am a male teacher and I have a crush on a female student right now. I do think she is very pretty but my feelings for her are not based on lust at all. I like her because she is a wonderful person who is much more mature than most high school girls her age. There seems to be a personal connection between us at times. I would never do anything about it though! I wouldn't want to risk my job or embaress her since she is still a student at the school where I teach.

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (27 March 2009):

SirenaBlusera agony auntIt does happen because teachers and students have been involved with each other.

Being a teacher is a position of trust, and in order for it to work, there need to be clearly defined boundaries between a teacher and a student.

It's important to have good rapport with your teachers, because your teachers are supposed to care about you, but a responsible teacher would never take advantage of the rapport.

I'm a teacher and I have never had any of these feelings, nor can I relate to them. I'm attracted to MEN, grown men. Nothing wrong with being a lesbian, but teachers are ADULTS and the students are KIDS. They're not fully grown and developed and not men. It would be just as weird as having a crush on a goat... except goats are almost always sweet and well behaved. ;)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009):

this is a male teacher who fancied his 15 year old student...its an old post and she'll long grown up now but the stories still there btw this is a rare question as it is wrote by the actual teacher:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/dont-stand-so-close-to-me-i-am.html

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009):

Also, read some of te answers on this link:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/a-married-teacher-who-is-middle-aged-who.html

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009):

Some do, and they do so legitimately, without going on the sex offenders register.

How? They sensibly wait until after the student has left their school, and moved on elsewhere, and it's usually in a very different social setting.

This can, and has happened before. Not common, but still, it does happen, and although it's frowned upon, it works for some people.

I hope I've provided some good advice from the agony uncle's perspective... that's if you feel it's good enough! :)-

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A male reader, ArmyMedic United Kingdom +, writes (16 March 2009):

ArmyMedic agony auntRead this link by MusicalMistress: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/students-falling-in-love-with-teachers-whats-your.html she makes some interesting points, and this topic has been done to death on here, just search for crush or teacher!

You will see lots of answers from teenage girls who can relate to your pain, and adults who hold positions of trust with children, who don't want to loose their jobs.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009):

If you ever get a chance, rent a movie called 'all american girl - the mary kat letourneau story' unfortionatley it's based on a true story, but it is an amazing film. Basically the woman [mary - google her] fell in love with her 13 year old student, and went on to have two children with him, obviously she was imprisoned for it, but when she got out, they got together again...

Again google it, it's fab =]

So to answer your question, yeh they do.

xox

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (16 March 2009):

Yes they do. You hear about it in the papers when they have been stripped of their job, named and shamed and normally made to sign the sex offenders register.

Not all teachers are perfect. Sometimes they may be tempted by one of their students.

However, since they will ruin their life if they do act on it, this is why I always advise people that if they REALLY cared about their teacher then they would stay away from them.

Teenaged love can be very very selfish though and it's more about wanting to tell them how they feel, than actually growing up and thinking about the person they allegedly "would do anything for."

Good Luck!! xx

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