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Do men know they are treating you badly?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 April 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 16 April 2008)
A female Australia age , anonymous writes:

Do men know they are treating you badly? I have a feeling they do.

For example the bf wouldn't call me for days and then call and act like nothing was wrong and I would start to pull away so then he would suddenly start doing the right things again like calling more often, saying sweet things, planning fun dates, etc.

Another example: He knew I wanted to move in together or get married and every so often he would mention us maybe moving in together or getting a place together but it never happened. I think he was just throwing out crumbs so I would stay.

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A female reader, daniellexxxx United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2008):

daniellexxxx agony auntIt's hard to walk away when your in that situation it's like they have a hold over you and you just heal like a dog. Try to think theres better men out there that will apricate me better than this man, walk away hunny before you get realy hurt. I did.

Good luck hun xx

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A male reader, friendleyness United States +, writes (15 April 2008):

don't take any abuse from him or anyone else if he is hurting you need to get away from him

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008):

You're treated, how you allow yourself to be treated.

Good luck

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A male reader, salvation United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2008):

im a guy and i say yes and no some guys are blind to what they do and others just act like retards and then thers the good ones that will treat you well. If they no or not is not the point if they treat you bad there not worth your time. Go for the goodns

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (15 April 2008):

eyeswideopen agony aunttraining, Training, TRAINING! Men must be trained on how to treat a lady, rarely do they instinctively know how. If his mother dropped the ball, you'll have to pick up the slack. If he is untrainable throw him back and find another puppy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008):

Some men are convinced that treating a woman badly is the only way to keep her. There are whole books dedicated to this subject!

But there is another non-sinister reason behind men's actions. That being that men and women think differently. Each side makes connections between words, actions, and feelings that the other side either dosen't make or understand. This all leads to men and women thinking that the other is crazy (men about women) or mean (women about men).

But then there are also men (and women) who just plane enjoy manipulating people. This makes the whole female-male interaction thing even more difficult since it's sometimes hard to tell if the other person really dosen't understand or is genuinely messing with you.

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (15 April 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntAskoldersister wrote an ARTICLE called Dating "Red Flags". You should give it a read incase any other things jump out at you.

I think that they know, but are just a bit too wrapped up in doing what they want to do, when they want to it, that they don't really give it much thought (Some of them, at least... with apologies to all the good ones out there!).

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2008):

TELLULAH agony auntI bet at our age, a lot of us girls have been with a guy like that. My mother always used to say "all men are bast***ds" it makes me shudder at how she is so hard on my dad (her laungauge is pretty colourfull). But my dad adores her, and is always trying to treat her like a queen.

I guess the old saying "Treat em mean Keep em keen" is right.

I think the only way to stand up to this man is dont pick up the crumbs honey, and let go a bit.

Easier said than done, just try though and see what happens. XX

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