A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Do men know they are treating you badly? I have a feeling they do.For example the bf wouldn't call me for days and then call and act like nothing was wrong and I would start to pull away so then he would suddenly start doing the right things again like calling more often, saying sweet things, planning fun dates, etc. Another example: He knew I wanted to move in together or get married and every so often he would mention us maybe moving in together or getting a place together but it never happened. I think he was just throwing out crumbs so I would stay. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, daniellexxxx  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 It's hard to walk away when your in that situation it's like they have a hold over you and you just heal like a dog. Try to think theres better men out there that will apricate me better than this man, walk away hunny before you get realy hurt. I did.
Good luck hun xx
A
male
reader, friendleyness  +, writes (15 April 2008):
don't take any abuse from him or anyone else if he is hurting you need to get away from him
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): You're treated, how you allow yourself to be treated.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, salvation + ♥, writes (15 April 2008):
im a guy and i say yes and no some guys are blind to what they do and others just act like retards and then thers the good ones that will treat you well. If they no or not is not the point if they treat you bad there not worth your time. Go for the goodns
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 April 2008):
 training, Training, TRAINING! Men must be trained on how to treat a lady, rarely do they instinctively know how. If his mother dropped the ball, you'll have to pick up the slack. If he is untrainable throw him back and find another puppy.
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A
male
reader, Salad_Barbarian + ♥, writes (15 April 2008):
 Some men are convinced that treating a woman badly is the only way to keep her. There are whole books dedicated to this subject!
But there is another non-sinister reason behind men's actions. That being that men and women think differently. Each side makes connections between words, actions, and feelings that the other side either dosen't make or understand. This all leads to men and women thinking that the other is crazy (men about women) or mean (women about men).
But then there are also men (and women) who just plane enjoy manipulating people. This makes the whole female-male interaction thing even more difficult since it's sometimes hard to tell if the other person really dosen't understand or is genuinely messing with you.
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (15 April 2008):
 I'm a guy and i see the way some guys are and i want to say no. They are just gruff and boorish and uncouth. Then they get so far over the top its hard to believe they can act the way they do and not know it. Especially when they get back what they have been giving and if flips them the f out. But really does it matter if they know or not. They still can treat people like shit and thats not acceptable. So you have to stand up for your self. And put boundaries where you need them. And call them on what they do when it pisses you off.
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A
female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (15 April 2008):
 Of course men know when they are treating you badly, they have brains too! A lot of people just see how much they can get away with!
This can happen to both men and women. It's just that a lot of people are happy to sleep and even live with the person they love before they walk up the isle. As long as there is talk of marriage, most women think moving in together is ok. But if your man is already getting all he wants, he won't bother to carry out plans for the future.
That is why couples need to talk and make their feelings clear! Tell your man when he's getting lazy or if he's treating you badly! Don't give up too much too soon and stand your ground!
Tell him you're not happy as you are, that you want to be married and that you only gave him yourself because you thought that's what he wanted too. Tell what you need from him in exchange for your love and devotion and make sure you get it!
God bless you and good luck!
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  + ♥, writes (15 April 2008):
 Askoldersister wrote an ARTICLE called Dating "Red Flags". You should give it a read incase any other things jump out at you.
I think that they know, but are just a bit too wrapped up in doing what they want to do, when they want to it, that they don't really give it much thought (Some of them, at least... with apologies to all the good ones out there!).
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH + ♥, writes (15 April 2008):
 I bet at our age, a lot of us girls have been with a guy like that. My mother always used to say "all men are bast***ds" it makes me shudder at how she is so hard on my dad (her laungauge is pretty colourfull). But my dad adores her, and is always trying to treat her like a queen.
I guess the old saying "Treat em mean Keep em keen" is right.
I think the only way to stand up to this man is dont pick up the crumbs honey, and let go a bit.
Easier said than done, just try though and see what happens. XX
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