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Do men ever change their minds in matters of the heart?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating, Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 November 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 February 2009)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've been in love with a man for five years. This year he moved about 40miles away. We didnt speak because of a fight we had for about 8 months. Then one night he called, the next week i went to the hospital very sick.

We began talking and i've been working on being really honest with this man - showing him the real me,

I know he loves me but he keeps me at bay. He says he doesn't want a relationship with me. But we can't stay away. I will never love another man, I'm done, and dont fake well.

So the question for me is;

Do men ever change there minds in matters of the heart?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well we are vey close we are moving in together. we are not a couple but we are best friends. i want him in my life so im not fighting it any more.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008):

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Thank you,for your response. I wasn't a jerk or maybe i was. See the thing about our relationship is that it was interracial.I'm a black woman and he is a white Man. I always said that this kind of relationhip was ok but when i was faced with someone of another race. i freaked out and scared him too. If i lose him it will be my own fault. I love him so much he change my life. We talked everyday for 4 year i was at his house or he was at mine. when we didnt talk for the 8mos i thought of him every day. i could feel when he thought of me. We are pretty close its almost like we feel each other. I know it sounds crazy but, Its very real. We would meet up wearing the same clothes and all the time not planned at all.

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A female reader, sarcy24 United Kingdom +, writes (15 November 2008):

sarcy24 agony auntI'm honestly not sure on this. Some men do and some don't. A man I was very much in love with many years ago wouldn't touch me because he said I was always duplicitous. I wanted him and stopped lying and scheming and showed only a positive image of myself, listening to what he had to say and being there for him but no too pushy. This seemed to work as he wanted to be with me but ever contrary I'd lost interest after all that effort! I think it depends on how much the man was initially attracted to you in the first place and this affects matters whatever you have done. Some forgive because they still really fancy you others will think 'hey I don't like being treated like this' and will never change their views whatever you do. As some great poster put on here the one who likes you the least has the upper hand in any relationship.

You seem to be doing all the right things with this guy to rebuild your relationship. I have found always coming across as a decent , interesting, outgoing human being with no neediness, bitterness or desperation is the key. Do show interest in their work and what they have been doing and show yourself only in a positive light. You seem to be doing everything right and I am sure he has changed his view on you already and is already seeing you in a different light. Often these things take time so slowly goes, just go with the flow see how he is changing towards you and go with it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008):

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Thank you,sounds like im heading in the right direction. I let you know how it goes. We talk for hours its great. Thank you

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