A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I spilt with my gf of 5 years about 5 weeks ago. We split because she started saying that she felt that she needed to go travelling on her own and find her self as it were. I then said fine and broke up with her. I love her still and miss her lots. I think she still loves me too, i have been trying to avoid her and move on but she keeps calling me and asking me to come over. we have slept together a few times and the time we have spent together has been amazing like at the very begginning of our relationship again. The only problem is that the issue that caused us to break up is still there, and i dont feel i can wait and stay faithfull for a year while she goes off and finds her self. I also think that she sort of wants to have her cake and eat it if you know what i mean. I am trying to cut her from my life but it's hard, what should i do?
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female
reader, penta  +, writes (4 October 2007):
 Don't wait for her. If you keep up the contact, in any form, you won't be able to get her out of your system. This means that you won't be able to find anyone else, either. So while she's out there finding yourself, you're stretching out the pain of breaking up because you keep seeing her.
The next time you contact her, tell her that unless/until she wants a full-time, committed relationship with you, she shouldn't contact you again. If after she "finds herself" she decides she wants you under those circumstances, she can call you again. You may be taken by then, however, and she's just going to have to deal with that.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (2 October 2007):
 Move on. Do NOT wait for her. Starting dating new people, and cut ALL contact with her.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (1 October 2007):
You should be looking for a new girlfriend and maybe you will find yourself.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 October 2007):
 You should cut her from your life. That's what she said she wanted when she broke up with you after five years.
Maybe she loves you too, but, at the very least, she is having doubts about the relationship. You don't usually dump someone you love.
If she left the relationship, why is she keeping everything just the same as before, the only difference being that now she can go away when she wants to?
If we look at this from a different angle, if she really has an issue to solve and you can't wait faithfully for her, don't break her heart and let her be.
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