A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I have been together for a couple years. Half of our time has been together in person and the other half of it has been long distance. We are still currently long distance. However, after quitting his job (they were going to fire him) now he suddenly wants to move back where I live. You'd think I'd be happy, but I'm confused. The whole time we've been long distance, I've told him I needed more communication. Ever since he left my city, I was always the one instigating communication. He says it's just his introvert personality, but to me, it just felt like I wasn't a priority. Ironically, when he moved and we became long distance, he ended up getting a job that flew him in and out of my city every other week. But still, the weeks he wasn't here, a couple of days could go by and I wouldn't get a text or anything. And communication is just one issue. During our relationship, he has been fired twice (counting the time he quit before they axed him). That concerns me because I feel it is more job performance based and not him simply being let go. I've told him my concerns and he says he's going to change and do better and that he's always wanted to move back. But i used to ask him when he was moving back throughout our distance and he'd say that he was going to stay in his new city a while. Probably a couple years. Only a few months ago did he mention wanting to move back. But it was only under astronomical stipulations of him being able to afford a half a million dollar house. Of course he doesn't have that kind of money. Which in my mind meant he was not seriously considering it.But now that he doesn't have a job and probably is tired of living with his mother (which he was doing even when he was employed), he wants to move back. He is trying to get recruiters to help him find a job here.As far as communication, i guess it has technically improved. He texts me everyday now because I once again told him that I really needed communication. But it's only a few texts a day. To me, that is not fulfilling. I feel like I don't have a bf, especially since he's not here. I know he says he will change. And I'm sure if he lived here and I could see him everyday, that I wouldn't be as frustrated. But because of the strain the distance has caused, and other instabilities he seems to have, I am conflicted on if the relationship should continue or not. Should I throw it away, or let him move back and see if he's really changed?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 July 2015):
 If you still have feelings for him and think you can make it work, I'd make some ground rules.
I would NOT let him move in with you and live OFF you while he looks for work.
OP if you are the same girl who asked a couple of weeks ago, I think you should go back a reread the answers given.
If you are not, I'll give a more detailed answer later on.
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