A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've recently found out that my friend is cheating on his fiancee. It wasn't a drunken one night stand either. He's been meeting up with this girl for quite some time now behind her back. I don't know his fiancee, but since i've found out, should I tell her? If so, how do I do it? I have no way of contacting her. I just feel as though I should tell her, instead of letting her be made a fool out of by someone she loves and trusts. she doesn't deserve it.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 November 2012):
 No, you don't tell her. It is not your business, and she is not your friend. However, you have leverage over your friend. Tell him that his actions are crossing with your moral standpoint. That either he tells his girl that he is cheating, or you will tell her. If you tell her then you can more or less consider your friendship over. Evaluate how much this friendship means to you, compared to the moral dilemma you face. If you stay silent, then you are agreeing with his actions. Remember that. But you can also choose to end the friendship, without telling the girlfriend that he is cheating. In the end, she is an adult who needs to take care of yourself, and she has no reason to take your word for it either. She might not even believe you, and even so, any good girlfriend who loves her man will never listen to gossip, or heresay.
So, tell him he either tells her himself, or you tell her and/or your friendship is over. Or, stay in silent agreement, accepting that cheating is okay as long as you don't get caught.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (27 November 2012):
Hi,
I was/am in a similar situation. I know that a good friend of mine has cheated on her fiancee twice- and what's really bad, she cheated on him with two of his closest friends.
I have to admit I didn't tell him. I just felt like I would get myself involved in some business that's not my own, although I have to admit it sounds like a weak excuse. It's just, she's my friend as well, I felt like I don't have the right to mess with her relationship. Even though I think what she did is wrong.
If I was you, I'd do what Immortal Princess suggested. Talk to your friend. It takes more courage than blackmailing him, probably. And you still risk the friendship. But at least you did something.
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess  +, writes (27 November 2012):
 This is a very tough call. Do you have proof of this, so it isn't just your word against his? If I were the fiancée, I would want to know, and she certainly deserves to know - but telling is going to destroy your friendship, are you ready for that?
Maybe you should try talking to your friend, first. Ask him why he's dooming his marriage before it even gets started. Tell him that if he can't be faithful, maybe he shouldn't even be getting married. Obviously he doesn't love or respect the woman he is engaged to, so why is he still holding on to her?
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A
female
reader, askme! +, writes (27 November 2012):
yes you should tell her!!! wouldnt you want someone tell you if you were cheated on? next time you see her be like "hey you and me should go out for coffee" and make a conversation and try to bring her fiance into it.you explain to her (on the coffee date) that she has been cheated on and that she should either follow him and see with her own eyes or confront him straight out
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