A
male
age
26-29,
*LoveMyGirlfriend
writes:So, i'm a teenager, in full-time education. I run a band, and the Band is getting more and more popular by the second, and have just signed onto a label. Unfortunately, this actually means being really busy, and getting literally no money. However, my girlfriend works really hard, having two jobs, and earns a lot of money. I always feel like an awful boyfriend, because she'll give me money for topping up my Phone, or getting things. And i feel that it shouldn't be that way. Whenever i get any money, through Gigs, busking or disk sales, i ALWAYS spend it on her. Jewellery, flowers, chocolates... But that doesn't happen that much. When we go out, she seems to always end up paying...Is there anything i can do? Should i be this worried that maybe she'll think i'll always be like this!!
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male
reader, ILoveMyGirlfriend +, writes (28 October 2011):
ILoveMyGirlfriend is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you Cindy for your words. :) It's good to know that the way she looks at me wont change because of this problem! I'll make sure i start paying for things, and hopefully get to the point where i can spoil her all the time, and not just the odd occasion!! :)
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 October 2011):
 I wish you well and I hope that soon your band can become the biggest thing since the Rolling Stones .
But, life is NOW. NOW you are totally broke.
Don't let your gf pay for everything. She probably does not mind, but you should. It's never good anyway to learn living beyond your means . Learn first to count on what YOU have and what YOU make.
Cut your expenses. Don't go out so often, cook at home, cut on drinks. There are several things you can do together without spending money, and no, I don't only mean sex :).
Don't let her top your phone, stay within your phone plan.
Don't accepts "things" unless is Xmas or your birthday, probably you don't even need lots of gadgets to be happy. Tell her clearly that you love with or without perks . Maybe your gf is just generous by nature, or she feels bad for your dire straits and wants to make you feel better by buying you stuff- but often people who shower their partner with gifts do it basically because they are insecure and are tryng to " buy " love and loyalty. Reassure that she is absolutely the best for you and that she does not need to spoil you to be loved.
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