A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a teenage male, and I have had homosexual thoughts for the past four years. I do masturbate to gay porn, but I also masturbate to lesbian porn too. Its all confusing for me because it takes me longer to get sexualy aroused over women than it does men, as it does to ejaculate. If I fancy a man, on the internet or in real life, it litterally lasts for a few days, but if I fancy a girl, it can last for years. I fancy women in all shapes and sizes, and I take into consideration personallity. But the men would have to exeptionally good looking, with big mucsles etc, all the typical perfect features. I suffer with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and I also think I might have had OCD, im always performing compulsions to rid myself of these obsessive homosexual thoughts, which sometimes I think OCD may be the problem. Im not saying im not gay, but it is possible that it may be the problem. I think I really do admire and idolise these perfect men, I've always though that no woman would want someone as skinny as me and I really do just want to be them. I will admit, I have stuck things up my bum when im aroused, but I didn't like it, it hurt too much. I have gone on a bit but I just wanted to explain everything I've felt about this. Whenever I do watch gay porn, I do find myself fantasising about a girl I fancy at the moment, instead of a man. Sometimes I forget all about the porn that is going on. I can only see myself living my life with a woman, and NEVER with a man, the thought has never crosssed my mind. Im still a virgin, and I just wanted other peoples opinions before I decided what to do. I know you can't change your sexuallity, but I do see myself now as Bisexual. can anyone help!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): obviously only you can answer are you gay, i understand you are confused but the insight i see is you admire mens form and there sex to the extent you tried to experiment this signals to me your bi sexual as you like girls aswell... but the facyt opf the matter is you like lesiban porn and you seem like a swinger lool (nothing wrong with that).... i belive as your a virgin though you 100 times more likely to be confused as you never had full on sec with a girl, and you said you didnt enjoy you male experiment... tis tough but seems your either bisexual or just very inexperienced and with being inexperienced you get turned on alot .. goodluck,... at the end of the day you are who you are dont worry x
A
female
reader, princessjasmine  +, writes (24 June 2009):
yes, you have homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder, you have the same symptoms i do. please message me with questions, also check out: neuroticplanet.com for more information, Marc an open gay male who had ocd (about something else) will tell you that you are not gay but that this is ocd, he knows the symptoms and yes u have them! Please message me with questions, i am here to help you kid!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Honeypie, are you sure you have OCD or are just really, really, REALLY organized?!
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Who says that everyone has to define their sexuality, just experiment and enjoy yourself, you'll find out what to class yourself as later on in life. X
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 June 2009):
 Ok, I can not diagnose OCD or your sexual orientation.
I am OCD. I do things by numbers. Even numbers work for me. If things are on an angle it HAS to be 90 degrees. Towels have to be folded in certain orders and if you look into my wardrobe ( or any of my kids) they are all hung in color - short sleeves/ legs to long. From light to dark. Same with shoes, bed linen and so forth. I clean bathrooms on EVEN days. I never use a towel more then once.. I could go on. It used to be WAY worse. You can say that I have mellowed a lot..
As I see it, the reason you are doing compulsive stuff is because you are still not sure about your sexuality. And it scares you. You do know that you don't have to be either gay or straight? That some people are bi-sexual. That you can lust after a women but get turned on by a man's body. There is a lot to be said for admiring a good body being it male or female.
I think you need to consider quitting porn. Porn is not going to make you either gay nor straight. OK?! But it can desensitize you to NORMAL sex, normal lust. Porn is not real. It is people trying to get attention, money, fame by PERFORMING sexual acts with most of the time total strangers. So lay of the porn, it is not making you happy. USE your imagination.
I think if you take some time to understand, that right now your testosterone are ruling you, that you are still maturing and that it is ok to think about sex non stop. It's pretty much normal. But also to realize that there is more to you then sex. Some girl will see you for you and will like you, be you skinny or chubby. It really isn't all about looks.
Channel some of that unspent energy into building some self confidence.
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