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Do I continue to date this amazing guy knowing that when I'm with him all I do is think of the ex or do I stop dating until I'm fully over my ex?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 January 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 10 January 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I recently started dating a wonderful guy, things have been going really well but for some reason I cannot get my ex out of my head. My ex and I had a great relationship but it ended suddenly with no real reason apart from he was moving 70 miles away for work. We sat down and decided to cool things between us and not see eachother as often in order to get used to seeing eachother less because of the distance. He moved last march and I haven't heard a word from him since. He refused to answer my calls/reply to texts etc. I waited a long time (October) to start dating again to ensure I was over him (and to ensure he wasn't coming back) but things didn't work on those few dates I had. I've now been dating someone else who is the most fantastic person and who absolutely adores me, but all I can do is think of my ex. I know my ex isn't interested and has more than likely moved on with someone else, yet I can't get thoughts of him out of my head. Do I continue to date this amazing guy knowing that when I'm with him all I do is think of the ex or do I stop dating until I'm fully over him? I'm so confused as to why I feel like this.

View related questions: my ex, text

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (10 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI'm of the belief that you think that your ex used the move as an excuse to end the relationship. I know I am.

70 miles is nothing. for some around here that's less than the daily one way commute. My husband and I dated the first year LDR and we were almost 100 miles apart and saw each other every weekend.

I think part of your not moving on is that you don't believe the reason for him leaving and his not staying in contact after his move is proof of that.

I'm sorry he was such a coward.

as for the new guy... I'm thinking once you admit that you don't buy into the reason for why you split up you will be able to move on and devote your full measure of attention to the new amazing guy.

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (10 January 2013):

R1 agony auntAfter a while you will find that you think about your ex less and this new guy more. Give it a chance and you could be very happy.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (10 January 2013):

kenny agony auntIf you had have said that you split up with your ex last week then i would most certainly have said don't date this new guy untill you are fully over your ex. But your ex moved away last March, you have not heard from him since, he does not reply to your calls, your texts, so the likellhood of anything ever happening again is somewhat slim.

Its been along time, its time to forget about him now, delete his numbers or anything you have got in in connection with him and get on with your life, he obviously has. You have met someone who is nice, and who quite clearly likes you alot, so put you energies into this new relationship and make this work, rather than wasting your energy on something that is in the past.

Good luck

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