A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship for 8months we lived together and everything. We split up about a month ago three days later he was seeing somebody else. When people ask him about me he say that we were just friends and that he was just renting a room from me which was not true. I really miss this person but my main concern is was he just using me.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (11 March 2013):
Hello again. Yes, it is possible for it to be a rebound for your ex, and yet it is probably impossible to prove whether it is or not.
And does it really matter?
Probably not.
In any case, as others here have also said, it is completely counterproductive for you to keep on wondering why? why? why? all the time.
It serves no purpse, and all it does is prevent you from moving on with your own life now.
It just keeps you in the past - and STUCK.
Even if you could somewhow come up with an answer to this riddle, how would it change things in reality?
It would do nothing at all.
There are some situations in life, that simply are not worth trying to figure out the reason why something happened the way it did.
And it is very often found that, later on down the track, we get that answer of it's own accord.
Remember, everything in life happens for a reason.
Nothing ever happens by accident, it is meant to be.
And even as negative and disappointing or hurtful that some of these situations are, the positive part is what we learn from each situation, PLUS what we learn about ourselves and about life itself.
These things are the silver linings behind the dark stormy clouds.
And when we look more closely, there is always some kind of silver lining, even if we don't realize it at that time.
We usually always do a little later on.
It might be weeks or even months, but trust me, you will see it probably sooner rather than later.
It will take you a little time to get over this, and it will get a little easier each day.
Have faith - everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright well then it is not the end.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPeople just come and tell me so many different things about him. How he is with this other woman and how he is calling her all the time and. Its like he did dont care that we are not together anymore because he moved on so quick I think that its just a rebound relationship I dont thnk its going to last at all.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 March 2013):
 Using is a strong word, and it only would apply if he was living with you and OFF you, freeloading board and lodging. If not,- it may have been , for him, a transitional relationship. If he felt that you weren't the one, or that the emotional attachment was not very deep, that does not mean he used you, just that probably you were more attached to him than viceversa, so he had no trouble in jumping ship when he saw it was not working ( if he broke up with you ) or in moving on fast ( if you broke up with him ).
I agree anyway that keep wondering "why " about an ex may come natural, yet it is an exercise in futility. Look forward ,not backward.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2013): some people don't like feeling hurt. So after he broke up with you he's trying to convince himself that he's found a replacement. And that nothing happened with you so he doesn't have to deal with being hurt.
You are being honest to yourself and so it hurts for you. I think your way is better because you will heal properly. He won't heal properly, it may start coming out in other ways for his relationship.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (9 March 2013):
Hi there. You say you were together for 8 months, which is quite a while, for someone who says you were only a friend, don't you think?
If he says that now to people, then why did he stay living with you for 8 months?
Was it a sudden breakup for no reason?
And was it a mutual breakup?
Or, was there a big argument over something, and that was what ended it?
And did you both end things on a positive note, or was there a lot of tension between you?
Three days later after the breakup, is way too soon to start up another relationship.
Was that the reason for your breakup, do you think?
Or, was it a rebound thing for him?
Had he ever cheated on you, or did you ever suspect he might be cheating?
It is hard to say where he is coming from when he said you and him were only friends, so I don't know what is going on there really.
There seems no reason to lie about it, as it serves no purpose at all.
The only other reason I could think of for him saying that, would be if you broke it off with him, and he felt like he had to save face and not feel bad about himself.
And also, if it wasn't a happy relationship for either of you.
Was it a happy relationship?
Would you say he was always happy to be in your company?
And, did you have many arguments over that time?
And if you did, were they always about the same thing?
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (9 March 2013):
I can think of no purer waste of time and energy than wondering whan an ex thinks of you.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (9 March 2013):
 If he started seeing someone else three days after breaking up with you, he was probably seeing her and you at the same time. He is probably lying about his living situation with you, because that's what he told the other girl (that you were just a room mate). He lied to her too. He was using the both of you. He's not a nice guy. He does not deserve your love.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (9 March 2013):
 He knew he had been horrible but he did not want people to know that side of him. If he paid rent, he used you as a transition in life. If he didn't, he was really a scumbag and was taking advantage of your feelings.
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