A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need help, I have been dating this guy for a couple of weeks and I am interested in him, however on our fourth date we had sex and now I am worried that I have gone from the potential girlfriend to just the good time girl without a future.Afterwards he told me he had a lovely time and after we had sex he was craving something sweet so he asked me to go with him to get ice-cream. I am so confused and I would really like some advice!!Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 I'm with SVC. Having sex, in itself, doesn't really say much. It's the context of things that say it all. He still wanted to hang out with you, he wanted to go out for ice cream. If you went, and I hope you did, that sounds lovely, then I wouldn't worry about this at all.
But had he just pulled up his pants and said "I'll call you" as he walked out the door.. uh-oh. That's bad news.
Tell him you're worried you went ahead too fast, and that you'd like to get to know him better and maybe see if you end up falling for each other, before you mix sex in with it. Introducing sex too early in a relationship can mean the relationship becomes too much about sex, and less about actually getting to know each other. Relationships based heavily on sex can carry on for a good while before people realize they don't really like each other... That's why people tend to wait with introducing sex. But if you like each other, know each other, and it feels right, then don't worry too much. Go with the flow of things and have fun!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 did you say yes and go for ice cream?
I love ice cream after sex... it's replaced the after sex cigarette!
4th date?
he asked for ice cream afterwards...
I hear wedding bells... (no i'm kidding but if you do marry him do let us know)
does not sound like anything is wrong here...
it's been a day or two has he made contact?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012): Oh no he wanted ice cream, you're screwed!
As the others have said there's no indication of anything wrong so just assume nothing is and carry on seeing him. 1st date is the bad idea anything after that is okay depending on the individual.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 June 2012):
At the very least, he asked you to come with him for the ice cream! That#s better than him just walking out.
I think you'll be fine. There's nothing to suggest he won't continue to see you, there's nothing to suggest that you've become just a 'good time' girl. Just relax and continue to enjoy him and see what happens.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 June 2012):
 Four dates + a couple weeks is OK in my book. It's not as though he rolled over, told you he was tired and asked you to leave, he invited you out after. He wanted you to stick around for at least a bit. I don't think you blew it or made any kind of mistake. Try to relax!
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