A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19, and have been going out with a 24 year old guy. at first he was perfect, treated me so well, did everything for me, surprised me with nice little gestures.... but yesterday i didn't even get a valentines day card. he hasnt told me he loves me for days.... his ex, who is a tall, made up, blonde beautiful 24 year old with a very successful career keeps contacting him about silly things. i know for a fact he spent 100's every valentines on her. they were together 6 years. at first i didnt care about how she looked compared to me, we are totaly different. im small with big boobs and very dark hair.... now i think he is constantly comparing us. he has never said anything but when she tries to contact him or texts him or calls him, i cant help but compare myself... did he love her more than me? is there something i can do to make him love me as much as her?i used to be so confident.... now i feel like nothing, he never compliments me, but always checks out other girls... i know he wouldnt cheat but i read a text to his friend where he said "my receptionist's ass is definitely 9/10" but never comments on me..... is he not attracted to me anymore? i want the spark to be back, we used to have so much fun. now we never have sex because he says its not spontanious anymore. hes a very very heavy guy, and i fit into one of his pants legs with room to spare, yet he told me it was no harm for me to tone up despite being quite thin yet curvy.... he told me to stop eating late at night and that im not eating the right foods, and to go to the gym. i despretely want the spark back.. i want him to find me attractive and i want to stop thinking he's comparing me to his ex, because it seems like he is even though he doesnt say it directly
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SusieQ79 +, writes (15 February 2011):
If you want to put the spark back, maybe try being a little spontaneous. Surprise him, wear something hot and seduce him. Make him remember what a beautiful woman can do.
That's if you really want to be with him. But to be honest, he sounds like a bit of a prick. I can't stand men who think they can look like crap but pick holes in every woman who's not perfect. Maybe next time he comments on your figure tell him to look in a mirror.
Or get rid of him and find a man who treats you with the respect you deserve.
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