A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Did my bf have an emotional affair?He used to regularly text a female friend (almost on a daily basis). Initially whenever he got a text from her when I was around, he was fine with me reading her texts. Gradually, whenever he got a text from her, he'd not open her texts and only replied her when I wasn't around. After a few months I told him I wasn comfortable with him texting her so often (it wasn't even about school work!) and he stopped, albeit reluctantly. Then comes two other girls, of which one is overseas. He lied to me about the frequency of their contact. It was more often than what he told me. Once I asked if I could read their messages, but he got angry and said I might misunderstand their mesaages and get angry with him. To me, the fact that you have something to hide means you know the messages weren't appropriate. Now the girl from overseas is back and I'm not sure if I can trust them to go out alone together because I know she has been dissing me off even though I have never met her! God knows what my bf has been telling her. I feel at a loss now. Pls help
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (13 December 2014):
 Wait...he stopped texting the first girl completely? I find that very hard to believe. And then there are the 2 other girls. OP in my book, if you have something to hide then you're doing wrong. Its as plain and simple as that. Why does he think that you would "misunderstand" their messages in the first place? Why are they even worded in such a way that there can be any misunderstanding? He's very shady OP and is playing the field. The question is, can you trust him? Because if I were in your shoes, I couldn't. And I think (from personal experience) that once things come down to the level when you have to start dissecting your boyfriend's relationship with other women and thinking "why did he do it", "what's he up to" and "who's he talking to", then its over and its best that its over because its not worth the headache and the guy's not worth your time.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 December 2014):
 Did he have an emotional affair? I do not know
what i do know is this
a. he is lying to you about other women
b. he is hiding his relationships with these women from you
c. he's willing to lie to you about his contact with these women to keep up being in contact with them.
so what you have is a man you can't trust who lies to you and keeps things from you.
it's not about trusting HER it's about trusting him.
you don't (with good reason)
so what do you want to happen?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2014): He shouldn't be having these secret conversations with these women. And like you say, you don't know what he is saying about you. Cause if he was acting like you are his priority, he probably would have nothing to talk about with these girls. He's a player. Tell him you are not cool with this, you two just don't see eye to eye and then dump him.
If you do this and stay strong and don't contact him, he's going to regret it big time and he's going to come back begging for forgiveness. And then you'll have the upper hand.
Be strong.
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