A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We split because of his powerful porn addiction and the fact he would compare me with the porn stars.Anyway after a year of seperation and him repeatedly saying he now realises how much he values the relationship we reconcile . Then I go onto my gmail and love and behold down pops his with messages he was sending women whilst we were apartNow I'm not so worried about that because after all we were not together however with each woman he find something nice to say about her .. She has nice eyes or a pretty smile or whatever and not once not even ONCE during our entire marriage did he ever say one of those things or in fact ANY compliment to meClearly it seems that he thinks I'm dog ugly and I'm wasting my time Do I just lack today ?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 December 2014):
 Do you lack what?
WHY should it be about what you lack? Not what HE lacks?
My guess is, he doesn't compliment you, because he "has" you and thus doesn't feel has HAS to flatter you, to get you to like him, unlike women he doesn't really know and who don't know him back.. You know the saying:"Flattery will get you everywhere." YOU, he DOES take for granted.
I think you either need to explain to him that compliments are a nice thing and that you enjoy them, or maybe try to give HIM some compliments and see if he picks up on that "hint" and return some compliments.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2014): Has anything changed and why have you taken him back in that case? He is still addicted to porn I assume and he was gleefully messaging multiple women with compliments during his year playing spree. He has never given you a compliment in 15 years. What kind of relationship is that and once again why do you want him back?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2014): Have you ever been to a bar and seen a guy hit on woman after woman after woman, with no discretion of what she looks like, and with the same pick up line each time, in hopes that just one of them will bite and he'll get lucky? It happens often. That's what your husband was doing. Those "compliments" you are jealous of, were just him tossing bait to these women. Those compliments were just pick up lines with no bearing to what he really thinks of these women. It was a means to an end. Nothing more.
Your husband's got zero game. So after a year of probably getting rejected over and over and over again, he finally realized how good he had it with you. And hopefully he doesn't take you for granted anymore.
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