A
female
age
36-40,
*interspring
writes:I need help with this.I almost broke up with my bf. because i know that there is something fishy about him, although when he says he will do something he sees to it that he will be able to keep his words. He's into porn, i've proven his lies and all..Which lead me to losing interest in him. When i do break up with him, he will cry to bits like it was my fault.I love him so much, I am very much in love with him but i know he's a big time player. So everytime he tells me he loves me, i change the subject or anything. And just not tell him i love him back. Then one day, he told me he still loves me, (spends less time with me i wanted to blurt it out but i hold back) instead i told him i want him to be honest i dont feel like the same way as before. Then he told me he knows, he can feel it. then i said maybe we dont belong, im sorry. then he said, I think we do. its just not our time yet.then after that i never heard from him..Is it because he's been planning to break up anyway and intended to do it all along? or was he hurt too??I'm confused
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2012): Hi there confuse!I really do think that this guy is just a wanna be actor, playing his hurt when the truth is he really wants you to lose interest in him. You mentioned he spend less time with you..You all girls listen to me, when a guy starts to change his spending time pattern for you consistently, always have reason why you cant be together than usual. Its becoz its a red flag.He is losing interest to be with you...A Guy who loves you will move heaven and eath just to be with you, if his not doing its becoz His Just NOT INTO..Leave him alone, Im sure your a pretty gal and he doesn't deserve a woman like you. Move on and forget him, remember the best way to forget easily, THINK ABOUT THE BAD TIMES and GET RID OF THE GOOD TIMES you've had with him..Be strong, HE Ain't worth it...... Good luck..
A
female
reader, winterspring +, writes (12 October 2012):
winterspring is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto answer your question When you say "then after that i never heard from him" was that after a text you sent today or have you not spoken in a while i.e. a few weeks?
This was after i told him, i dont love him anymore as more than friends that i am glad that were friends. after telling him i never heard anything from him again.
I broke up with him in the past too many times, and he begged me not to leave him and cried a river of tears to make things ok. so thats all acting? what an act..i cant believe it
he doesn't know how i feel for him, i am a control freak. i always push him away. I never really showed him how i really feel.. he will never know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2012): "Did he act up towards me and watch lots of porn in the hope that I would break up with him first?"
Nope, nothing like that.
I understand why you're confused, I am too. Are you broken up now or are still flogging this dead horse? When you say "then after that i never heard from him" was that after a text you sent today or have you not spoken in a while i.e. a few weeks?
What I'm not confused about it this, you have no future with this guy, you and he have not been able to make it work. You don't trust him after all his lies about porn and the fact he's a big time player and the only reason keep playing this crappy game of "what if" is because you love him.
It's rather easy OP, the best for you to do is to get rid of him for good and move on, there is quite literally nothing good about having him in your life and your questions about whether he's hurt or planning to break up are completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
What you need to ask yourself is 'can this ever work with him in reality?' 'Do I have a future with this guy?' 'why am I still hanging onto a guy that I literally just can't be with?'
Whether he was hurt, planning to break up etc. irrelevant minor details OP. You don't need an answer to those questions you need to answer why you just won't let this go once and for all, and no "because I love him" is not a good enough answer.
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