A
female
age
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*ueeny63
writes:Devestated or Relieved: Dated this man 45, i am 45 for the past 4 years, we are both divorced. Things have been fine with little obstacles along the way, but we seemed to overcome them. He is quiet and stubborn and I am the nurturer but want things done accordingly. He lives in another state an hour away not that bad but works in Jersey so I see him quite often. He works in law enforcment and after his divorce his trust issues were literally shot, I tried to be understanding and showed him how to learn to trust. It hasn't been easy. I trusted him 2 years ago he cheated on me with his baby's mother, asked for forgiveness it took me a long time to try to get over it but it still hurts. He never wants to touch the topic, but when I get upset I think of that incident. Well, 3 weeks ago he had a tragedy in his family his brother died all of the sudden and 3 days later his father passed. Well, at the family's house his sisters' ex boyfried was there, he had beef with him years ago and does not stand him. I aonly met this guy once before. Well after dinner the guy said goodbye to all of us, and hugged and kissed all of us, my boyfriend left the room, it didn/t occur to me that he was upset. When I went to see how he was doing he was so furious that he said I disrespected him in front of everyone, which was crazy . He told me he didn't want to see me until next week, but I had to go to the wake and burial. I ignored him, I was there for the family. Well he ignored me and I didn't hear from him after a week,I was accused of flirting in front of him, trying to get numbers, and how can he trust me. this came our of left field. I felt so insulted and humiliated that all the anger he put me through these past few years came out. He said horrible and untrue lies about me, I went for his jugular. He broke up and I agreed. Now I hurt like hell, I want an apology. I won't hear from him, because he can be spiteful and childesh. The crazy thing is that I want to hear from him. We would speak to each other at least 5 times a day, and I made sure he was fine that he ate, I took so good care of him. I know I should go on but the days are so long, and I've prayed but I feel so lost. How can someone who said I was the best thing that ever happened to him change over night.
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female
reader, queeny63 +, writes (24 April 2009):
queeny63 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs of yet no call from him....I do want to make that call, because I know how stubborn he is. I just want to hear from him, why? I feel so lost....help
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reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 April 2009):
 Nothing changed over night. I bet you if he wasn't such and stubborn ass he would have called already.
I don't think there is much you can do. I think what he did/said to you was so disrespectful that I most likely would never talk to him again ( if it was me).
He is projecting his insecurities and trust issues onto you, YOU who have never cheated on him. YOU worked your ass of to show him he could trust you and then he turns around and do that?! Not right.
He might be hurting and grieving the loss of his brother and father, but he should never take it out on you. Just not fair.
With all that being said. I would wait for him to make the first move. However I would not wait around and put my life on hold.
If the two of you do decide to start it back up then I really do suggest you two talk to either a counselor or your priest.
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