A
female
age
26-29,
*ewbie594
writes:im a girl at 14 from Ireland and i have had this friend (who is also a girl at 14) for around three years now. she means the world to me and i don't know where id be without her.we are really close and tell each other everything and recently i think i am starting to develop slight feelings for her and im a little worried about how they will turn out. i was away on a trip for a week with her and other classmates and on the way home on the bus she was snogging a boy who she had been sort of flirting with all week and now they are seeing each other and i feel really depressed like ive lost her and shes not mine any more. i know that sounds bad and i should be happy that she has found a boy she likes but i do feel very possessive of her and dont want her to go out with him but just be the two of us agian.i guess what im trying to ask is, what do i do? do i tell her how i feel or how my feelings for her are stronger?i am really confused and really need help on what to do... please please can anybody help me at all??
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female
reader, newbie594 +, writes (15 March 2011):
newbie594 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah i would call it very strong friendship style love and i mean i do love her like that. :)ps.. thank you very much for the answers they have really helped me alot.
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (15 March 2011):
 Well atleast you know that your feeling towards her aren't sexual but instead strong feelings of friendship style love.Unfortunately as you get older you will see this happening more often, when friends get into relationship they seem to have less time for you. The most important thing to remember is her having a boyfriend doesn't change the way she feels for you, and its important to try and make time for each other and remember if she may be busy on a day you want to see her it isnt personal, its just what happens when people get older.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, newbie594 +, writes (14 March 2011):
newbie594 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits not that i feel jelous of her with him its just that i want her to myself again and i am afraid of loosing her. i already feel like im being pushed out of the way a little and im just really trying to get around that and it is hard. we are really close and have the odd cheeky grab on the bottom so i guess its not sexual i dont want to kiss her or anything like that but i do love it when we're close like when i give/receive a hug or her just lying beside her when we are watching a movie or something like that.
is there anything i can do to help me get over this and make me feel better?
ps thanks to my previous answers they helped alot :)
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (14 March 2011):
I kind of agree with the answer above, but just want to add my own twist to it i guess.
Been 14, its true your sexuality is something that will change and develop over time and that is fine and nothing to worry about.
The feelings you described for your friend do not sound sexual, you never mentioned wanting to kiss her for example, it may be possible your are just very attached to her as a good friend you dont want to lose and now she is seeing this boys you may feel you could lose her.
But if you are sure that the feelings you have for her are romantic ones then tell her is totally up to you, but remember that it could change the type of relationship you have with her now, she is clearly into men as she is seeing the boy you mentioned.
I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): Considering your age, you're probably quite confused about your sexuality at the moment - and from remembering when i was your age, it was sometimes hard to tell the difference between wanting to be close to someone as a friend, or being attracted to them. So what you're feeling might not been you actually fancy your friend, you're just very close to her. So i suggest you don't say anything to her unless you're completely sure of your feeling, otherwise you risk ruining your friendship. The fact that she now has a boyfriend is obviously hard for you, as you're used to it just being the two of you. Its completely understandable for you to feel protective, and maybe a bit jealous of the fact that she has a partner and you don't. But if she's a good friend she shouldn't let her boyfriend come between you too. If she puts him over you, she's obviously not worth your friendship anyway. Back to the bit about having feelings for her - if you're sure you like her you should be honest with her, but just be prepared that she might not feel the same way about you. I hope this helps a bit :) Good luck. xxx
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