A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I thought I had met the love of my life. We both have had issues in the past and were badly wounded from other relationships. It was a whirlwind and we quickly moved in together. The pressure really got to us, and i moved out. We agreed to take things slow but he had lost a lot of respect for me, as the main argument was me going out drinking and partying with friends all the time. I got impatient and asked him where we were heading and had a huge fight and broke up. He stated that I always wanted things my way or no way. He wanted to take it slow and not have pressure. I told him to just tell me if he doesn't love me, and I can move on with my life. And he wont, he just says he needs time. What should I do? Is he playing me? or is he waiting to forgive me? I just dont know. All I know is I have changed, and want to settle down, as I love him so much. And I believe he still loves me, but is stubborn by nature?
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (18 January 2011):
 Wow, just reading your question makes me lose my breath.
It definitely sounds like you guys moved pretty quickly. You were both on "rebounds" and you quickly moved in and then back out. It sounds like you and your boyfriend were involved in more of a whirlwind than a relationship.
Yes, your boyfriend is probably just catching his breath and wants to let things settle a little bit to see how he truly feels about you.
It sounds like there's a lot of passion, but I am not sure the relationship has the necessary foundation to support the riffs you are having. Simply put, that takes time and history to develop.
In your post, you state "All I know is I have changed, and want to settle down, as I love him so much." but are you really at that stage? Have you really put in the time with one another to make sure you guys are truly compatible? Do you have complete trust in one another (I think you answer that with some of your other questions). Do you really get along perfectly or is this guy just convenient?
Either way, let the "fever" subside a bit and see where you guys stand. I agree with your boyfriend in wanting to take it slow. I am sure he is trying to sort out his feelings for you as well. Keep it low key and take it a day at a time, turn down the drama meter, and make sure you get to know each other thoroughly before "settling" down.
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