A
female
age
41-50,
*ush2010
writes:I feel so truly depressed.. after making some bad decisions over the last 3 years, in terms of relationships. I've ended up single... i will turn 32 in 2011 and its causing me serious stress and depression. People keep telling me i'll meet someone , but its not that easy. And because i am finding it so difficult (even though i am attractive..) mainly because most men at my age are already taken. It just makes me fee depressed that my ex moved on 4 months after he chose not to be with me anymore. Yet , i should be able to move on too, but i cant because men seem to be affraid by age... thinking that i'll immediately want kids and marriage because i'm in my thirties. Naturally i do want those things, but living in this big city ... i just cant seem to find anyone who i really match with and its making me so depressed that is tearing me apart. Most of all i miss affection, i havent been kissed since my ex left me, 5 months ago...Are there any women here who have met their partners in their thirties??? please tell me there are or i will lose hope altogether!
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depressed, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): Trust me I know how you feel am a male in my 30's and cant find the right one either i hate it
A
female
reader, lush2010 +, writes (29 December 2010):
lush2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you all for your hopeful messages. I appreciate the positivity..
I hope you are right.. I will do what I can to make new friends (as my existing friends don't have anyone they can introduce me to) its so so hard to meet men , I've tried the online dating approach but most men on there are either really strange in some way, or just players. :-(
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A
male
reader, Luckshot  +, writes (27 December 2010):
 A young women like your self living in a big city has nothing to worry about finding men. By the time men are in there 30's most of them want to find Miss Right not Miss Right Now.
Dating Sites and Friend's (As mentioned here) are the best ways to find what and who your looking for. Go out and be social and you'll be suprised at how many single men there are wanting to get to know YOU yes YOU.
You have experence and youth which is a powerful combenation, never forget that :)
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (27 December 2010):
 Oh geeze. 32 is young! I think you're fixed on your ex and your feelings of abandonment and rejection, and they're making you feel old, unwanted, and unworthy of love.
You live in a big city besides! That's like single person nirvana! Do you have a lot of friends? Do you have a few friends? Maybe you can ask them to put feelers out if they know any good single guys who are feeling the same way you do. That way, you can meet guys your friends vouch for, which will give you a bit more reassurance. Not to say that the internet is bad (1 in 5 single people these days meet and have meaningful relationships online), but to have a trusted friend's endorsement can't hurt, and they know you enough to know your likes and dislikes.
The other issue that's stopping you besides your hangup about your stupid ex, is that you're talking yourself out of every guy you meet! You're already deciding that guys wouldn't want you. Do you know that feeling that way affects how you present yourself, putting guys off? You have to be confident. I know that that is hard right after rejection, but that's key.
Instead of thinking about why a guy would not want anything to do with you, think about what you have to offer. You said you were attractive, right? That's a big one! What are your passions and pursuits? What are you looking to get out of life? Instead of being in despair over the fact that your ex took you for granted, think of it a whole other way. He set you free so that you can truly go for happiness. Focus on your ex's shortcomings. You're free of those annoying habits of his now!
I have a really close friend who didn't find the love of her life until she was 42. That's 10 years older than you. Love is at any age. I have MANY friends who struck out in love and find more love in their 30's. Personally, I think a woman is very beautiful in her 30's, 40's, and 50's too! Even older there is beauty (I thought Jessica Tandy was gorgeous, and she was 80!)
You've gotta move on. If you're meeting guys afraid of marriage and kids, you're looking in the wrong place for them. Besides, at your age, many guys have had their fill of their man-child days. They're set in their careers, seeing their friends "drop like flies" and they're getting ready for something more serious than just a "Friday night fun girl".
Change yourself, your attitude about your ex, and you'll attract guys like flies.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (27 December 2010):
 Women, even in there thirties, are able to find dates / mates.
It's a matter of getting yourself out there. Hit the gym, join a running group, join a dating site.
You've got a lot going for you .... wear it with pride!
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