A
male
age
51-59,
*of
writes:Hi, I am feeling pretty raw right now, so my question may be a bit jumbled.I am 36 my now ex partner is 33, tonight I found her cheating with a so called friend (44) - I was desperately in love with the girl, Felt more for her then I did for the woman I was married to. I never leave my son home alone, I am a full time single parent so tonight, I did for two minutes... This 'friend' lives just down the road.... I entered his home and saw the two of them cuddled up on the couch, my gut reaction was to drag his 6 foot 4 backside outside and show him what I thought of him... Though I did not hit him, my former partner was screaming, I left the property as she rang the Police... I now have a Police harassment order - I don't know what hurts the most...The fact that they lied to me, him as recently as today! or the fact that they are actually flaunting this in my face a matter of days after my partner and I split....I have to stay strong and get through this for my little boy (10) - But right now, I'm not sure what to do for the best, any advice would be gratefully received.... I know I still love her, probably always will, how would you deal with this?
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male
reader, mof +, writes (17 November 2008):
mof is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify, my little boys mum is NOT in the picture, this woman was more of a 'mum' in a short time then he had ever known.
[quote]Don't use the boy as a pawn. Don't involve him in your feelings towards his mother. He is the most important key in this whole mess and he needs to be protected![/quote]
Could not agree more, something I shall never do. I guess it's just finding a way to cope with all the dreams of the future torn apart.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): Wow, that really sucks! I once came home and found my man in bed with my best friend. It is a horrible, undescribable feeling. I left him, but 4 years later, we got back together. It was good for the first year, but after that I realized that nothing had changed, and then I left him for good. We had a 9 year old son at the time, and it was very hard on him. We got on with our seperate lives. I never bad-mouthed him to his son. And I always maintained a civilized relationship with him (for the sake of my son) Fast-forward twenty-five years, and I can't remember what I ever saw in this man, but on the other hand my son, maintains a healthy relationship with both of us! Think of your son at this time. He doesn't need to be a witness to all the lies and deceit, and I'm sure fighting and name calling. That is more damaging than having a broken family. Don't use the boy as a pawn. Don't involve him in your feelings towards his mother. He is the most important key in this whole mess and he needs to be protected!
Good Luck to you and your little boy!
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A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (16 November 2008):
 Think it over for a few days. Not sure what you are wanting to know. If you are wondering to drop both people, YES! Neither of those people are our friends. Cut ties with both and out your energy into you child. To expose your son to all that drama would do a lot of damage.
Love is stupid! I'm in a similar boat. I have this feeling that I will always be in love with a man who is not worth being sad over, but love makes you stupid.
So, forget about the love part and think only about your son for now. Dont speak to either of those creeps because they both betrayed you and they will do that again. Your son and your dignity is worth more than those jerks.
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